


Can I Call You Baby?

by BambiRex



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Genderbending, Morally Grey Characters, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Drug Use, Prostitution, Sugar Mummy/Sugar Baby, fem!queen, joan is 7 years older than regina in this one, jogerweek2021, king!au, the non-sexual kind
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-13 17:01:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 24,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29157021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BambiRex/pseuds/BambiRex
Summary: Joan needs company, Regina needs money. They both want more out of life.It's an easy deal- isn't it?
Relationships: John Deacon/Roger Taylor, background Brian May/Freddie Mercury
Comments: 22
Kudos: 25
Collections: Joger Week 2021





	1. Opportunity

**Author's Note:**

> My contribution to the Joger Week has arrived! This is something that had been on my list for roughly 2 years lmao, but better late than never I guess! Feedback is super appreciated, but please behave in the comments.

Every single day started exactly the same way for Joan: the alarm went off at 5 AM, she sat up in her bed and tried to reply to the e-mails she got during the night with only one eye open. Then came the painful part when she actually had to leave the warmth of her bed; by the time she managed to do so (around 5:30 AM), Freddie, the nanny arrived with a surprisingly cheerful smile for such early hours of the morning. Then came breakfast, something light but washed down with unhealthy amounts of strong black coffee. She put on her suit and fixed her hair somewhat, usually finishing said chores around 5:55 AM. She slipped into her son’s room and kissed his sleepy little forehead, then she hugged Freddie goodbye good-naturedly. At 6:10, she was already sitting in her Lamborghini, starting the engine.  
Owning one of the biggest corporations in England had its perks, but it also had many downsides. Joan couldn’t remember the last time she had a day to herself when she was allowed to just sit back and relax, when she wasn’t constantly surrounded by erratic schedules and notifications. It wasn’t as though that Joan didn’t like the work: she has always been the type that loved a challenge, and preferred it when her brain was occupied. She was a bit of a workaholic, always stretching herself thin to make sure everything was perfect- and while she was still relatively young and could take a lot of pressure, she realized it has started to get to her a little.

It perhaps wasn’t even the amount of work that exhausted Joan; she was used to that. She finished university a year earlier than her peers due to her perfect grades at the age of twenty-one. Right away, she found herself in the leather chair of her late father as the head of Deacon Electronics- the millionaire heiress has claimed her throne. Joan, despite the quiet, reserved exterior, quite enjoyed being in the position of power. There was nothing she loved more than seeing the smug grin dimming on the faces of her business partners, when they realized a seemingly shy woman has masterfully one-upped them. Joan had been on the grind for seven years now; it was her life.

Sometimes, she wished there was more to it, though.

As a first, desperate attempt to fix the somewhat dull quality of her life, she adopted a baby at the age of twenty-four, a decision that freaked the living daylight out of anyone who knew her, and especially her mother. But if Joan put her mind to something, she wasn’t to be stopped or deterred: she wanted a child, but she knew she wouldn’t have time for a proper family, getting married and having kids with her hypothetical wife. So, she ended up making a small family by herself, and no matter how many people called her selfish for it, it was a decision Joan never regretted. Little Caleb was the light of her life, the only thing that could put a huge smile onto her face after a long, stressful day. Joan simply wished she could get more time with him, not just on the weekends. 

And she was longing for a deep connection with someone, at last. She couldn’t remember the last time she was on a proper date with someone; she only had time for casual hookups that took her high for the time being, then dropped her down low as soon as the heat of the moment passed. Joan wanted more- real feelings, someone to come home to at the end of the day. Her mother and her colleagues had been nagging her constantly to settle down finally, because she would burn out all alone before she hit her thirties. Joan supposed that could be true, with the pace her life was going. The constant, pushy comments about her non-existent love life certainly didn’t help feel her any less lonely or miserable. If only there was a way to shut them up, just for a little while. Maybe she could lie about having a girlfriend, after all. Who would come and check if that was true? At least Joan could cross one stress factor off her list.

‘’Alexa, am I going to have a good day today?” Joan asked the sound system in her car, half-joking. She asked the same question every morning, and the robot’s reply was always the same:

_I’m afraid I don’t have the power to determine the future, Miss._

‘’Yeah, me neither.” Joan chuckled curtly, reaching into her pocket to fish for her identity card. She rolled down the window and pressed it against the sensor of the machine at the garage’s entrance. The same, robotic movements, every single day for the past seven years.

\--

Joan was mentally sorting through the tasks for the day when she heard the commotion coming from one of the offices.

She stopped with a frown, backtracking a bit. There weren’t many people inside the building this early in the morning other than her, so it was definitely strange that someone would be making such a noise in the office. It sounded like two people, actually, having a muted but definitely heated argument inside.

‘’…that’s the deal, take it or leave it.”

Whoever was inside, they were doing some kind of side-business, which went heavily against the company’s policy. Joan didn’t expect to be firing people at so early in the morning, but rules were rules, and she never broke those, or took kindly to anyone who did.

It turned out there was a completely different deal going down in there than she expected, because a more familiar voice replied,

‘’Twenty pounds for a fucking blowjob!?”

At Deacon Electronics, there was no place for side-business, fraud and secrets- but there was no place for indulging in the services of a prostitute, either, inside the building that Joan inherited from her deceased father. She wasn’t the judgmental type: anyone was free to do whatever the fuck they wanted, as long as it wasn’t happening at her workplace, under her supervision. Then, it was just like being spat in the eye, majorly disrespected by her employees.

Taking advantage of having keys to every single office, Joan barged in on the couple. She caught Miles, the technician red-handed and red-faced, his pants already open and his hand quite aggressively squeezing the hip of a young girl, who Joan would have deemed a prostitute even if she hadn’t heard the telling sentence about getting paid for blowjobs, judging by the clothes she was wearing- or more like, the lack of them. The skimpy red crop-top resembled more of a bra, and the tiger-striped miniskirt barely covered her ass. She barely acknowledged Joan and continued to angrily glare at Miles, before slapping his hand away with an offended huff.

‘’Joan,” Miles swallowed audibly, scrambling away from the girl. He fumbled with his zipper, trying to save some of his dignity, but it was too late. Joan shook her head with a disappointed frown. She never liked Miles; he was lazy and rude, and Joan was giving him chances upon chances to prove himself. Guess it was really time for him to go on his merry way, away from here.

‘’Don’t even try to explain.” Joan said, hand held up to stop the ridiculous explanation Miles was about to come up with. ‘’What you did here, was a huge breach of our policy, as well as my trust. I hope you allow me to spare you the long legal details, and simply bow your head down and scurry away when I tell you that you’re fired.”

‘’It won’t happen again,” Miles started in a panic, ‘’I swear! She came onto me!” He pointed at the girl who kept glaring at him, burning holes into his skull with her icy blue eyes.

‘’Shut up, you asshole!” She snarled, hands on her hips. ‘’It was you, who dragged me here after my shift ended, then complained about my prices! Bear the consequences of your actions, pig.”

‘’You fucking whore!” Miles yelled. Joan slammed her dossier down on the table, causing Miles to flinch.

‘’Get out of here.” Joan hissed, giving Miles her infamous stare. If looks could kill, Joan would have collected many victims in her life. She could end someone with a cold glare of her eyes, head held high and back straight, making her appear taller and more powerful than she actually was. She could see Miles shrinking. ‘’You’re fired, Miles. I’m going to send you the details about your further payment and your opportunities via e-mail. Now, leave, or I’ll get security.”

Head bowed down, Miles exited the room, but not before spitting at the girl’s feet, who seemed completely unfazed- if anything, there seemed to be a triumphant smirk in the corners of her lips.

Now, Joan allowed herself to take a good look at her. She appeared to be a few years younger than Joan, and she was undeniably beautiful with her long blonde hair and mesmerizing blue eyes, pale skin with rosy cheeks and plump lips. She was skinny, and she held herself with a stance that could be only described as powerful- almost smug. Her back straight, hips cocked and chin raised, she oozed confidence despite the obviously cheap clothing and her ribs slightly visible beneath her skin. She regarded Joan with a curious glance, seemingly not intimidated by the other woman dressed in a sharp suit, with wealth and power radiating from each of her pores.

‘’Did he hurt you?” Joan asked, remembering how hard Miles was gripping the girl. She could see a few faint bruises on her wrists, and she wondered if those were there already, or Miles did them to her. The blonde just shrugged, chewing on her gum like nothing happened.

‘’He was quite the aggressive bastard,” she said, leaning against the desk casually. Her miniskirt slipped further up on her thigh, and Joan’s eyes lingered on pale skin for a second before looking her in the eyes again. ‘’He was very desperate for that blowjob. Thought I could lie and ask for a higher price, but he cashed on quickly. It’s clear I’m a cheaper whore than that.”

There was the first crack in the overly confident façade she put on. Joan could finally see she was shaking a bit, clearly not as unfazed as she pretended to be. Maybe it was a survival tactic, to act like nothing could get to her- it wasn’t all that different from how Joan lived her life, pushing her emotions away and putting on a mask every day to avoid getting hurt. This girl clearly needed that mask even more than she did. Being a prostitute was a difficult, and very dangerous job. She was putting her safety, her life at risk every single day she ventured out to offer her services to potential customers. To survive something like that, you had to develop thick skin and keep a cold head.

The girl looked at Joan again. She raked her eyes over her suit curiously, scanning Joan, taking in every nook and cranny until Joan felt almost naked- it was almost as if the girl could see right through her.

‘’So, you’re the big boss here, huh?” She purred, putting back on her smug smirk to hide the sudden break of character. She licked her lips, causing her red lipstick to fade. ‘’That’s hot.”

Joan wished her cheeks didn’t turn as red as they did. This was clearly just an act, something this girl got down to a t, for the sake of her job. She obviously didn’t find Joan actually attractive; it was a masterful game to get away. Maybe she thought that flirting with Joan might save her from the situation, that Joan might not call the cops on her if she played her part well enough. Sure enough, she sauntered over to Joan, surprisingly agile on her dangerously high heels, and put her hands on the lapels of Joan’s suit jacket, lingering close to her breasts. Joan swallowed thickly, hoping her face remained somewhat stoic. She was so ridiculously touch-starved, yearning so deeply to have someone close, that she was about to fall for the act of a hooker.

‘’Can we forget about this little incident?” She purred, leaning close to Joan. Her hot breath tickled the skin of her neck. Her small hands traveled upwards, resting on Joan’s shoulders. She peered up at her from beneath her lashes, almost innocently. ‘’I can eat you out for free, if you won’t call the cops.”

With all her willpower, Joan pried the girl’s hands off her body, pushing her away gently. It was a tempting offer- she hadn’t even gotten laid too many times, lately- but she didn’t want to take advantage of her like that. It felt all kinds of wrong and dirty to only let her off the hook in exchange of some fun.

‘’I won’t call them.” Joan promised, causing the blonde to breathe a huge sigh of relief. The second the threat of danger was gone, she dropped her act entirely; there was no need to play femme fatale anymore, because now she had the chance to get away with this fairly unscathed.

Except, her eyes suddenly snapped back to Joan, pleading. Another incredible shift in demeanor, and Joan found it hard to keep up. She didn’t like this look in her eyes, that sudden despair. There was something going on with this girl- which wasn’t all that surprising, considering her job, but there was something else, something that made Joan realize she was soon going to be making very bad decisions- and not only because this was easily the most beautiful woman she has ever laid her eyes on, and being this close to her made Joan’s head spin.

‘’Maybe you should,” the blonde said, almost more to herself than to Joan, ‘’I would have a better life in prison.”

Her voice trembled somewhat, but she tried to dismiss it with a little shrug. Joan’s chest suddenly felt uncomfortably tight. She had no idea why this girl decided to suddenly bare her soul to her, of all people, but it made Joan’s heart clench in sympathy all the same. They were the two ends of a spectrum: the one who had all the money in the world, who had all the power, and the one who was probably starving and who was used every single day. Wanting something different, something more, was what they both had in common.

‘’I started pocketing some money,” the girl chuckled, in a bitter, self-deprecating way. She twisted a lock of her hair around her finger, watching with such fascination as if it didn’t belong to her. ‘’My pimp really doesn’t like it. But what the fuck do I get? I have a hot meal once a week. I have to suck dick just to buy myself a second-hand jacket. I live in a cramped motel room with four other whores. What kind of fucking life is this? I’ve been doing this shit for two years, and I’m fucking tired, and why the fuck am I telling you all this?” She snorted, wiping at her eyes angrily. Only then did Joan notice the frustrated tears. ‘’You’re just a millionaire who has more money than what you could use. You don’t understand, and you don’t care. Fuck, I think I’m gonna get my period soon, I’m an emotional idiot today.”

Joan’s head buzzed with all the information she suddenly and unwillingly received. It was certainly strange, that this hooker finally snapped- which she had every right to, obviously- but she chose this morning, and Joan, to vent to. It was a lot to process, but it took nothing away from the fact that Joan felt increasingly sorry for the girl. She was so young- how old could she be, twenty-two, twenty-three? She deserved so much more than the life she had, and whatever happened to her, Joan didn’t blame her for a single second. She was right, even if her life was dull and she often wanted a way out, she couldn’t simply comprehend the hardships this girl was going through on the daily basis.

But she could try and help her, at the least. She wasn’t sure how- she couldn’t just offer her a job here, she would need qualifications, and Joan really doubted she had any. Maybe for the cleaning staff…?

Or, she could help the both of them. She could offer this girl an opportunity that could get her out of this mess of a life she was living, while also giving herself a chance to make her life a little easier. All she wanted was someone to keep her company, someone she could talk to. And maybe she could finally calm down her mother and all those people that nagged on her for being single. Maybe she could dodge more than just one bullet.

‘’I can help you,” Joan started, slowly, watching as the girl’s eyes lit up, ‘’I can give you a job.”

‘’I’m not good at anything.” The girl quickly said, blushing slightly. She scoffed, clearly finding the idea hilarious. ‘’I didn’t even finish high school.”

‘’You won’t have to do much,” Joan promised. She wasn’t sure if this wasn’t a major overstepping of boundaries, if she wasn’t taking advantage of her, too. But this was a chance, and it was completely up to the blonde to take it or not. Joan wouldn’t force her.

‘’I need your personal help. I need someone who keeps me company, comes with me as my piece for dinners and events, someone I can introduce as my partner, and the mother of my child.” Joan explained. The girl choked on her spit, before she burst out laughing, tears spilling from her eyes.

‘’You want me to be your sugar baby?” She chortled, nearly doubling over. ‘’What are you, like two years older than me? Fuck, you’re hardly a sugar mummy, sweetheart.”

‘’I won’t ask you to do anything sexual,” Joan was quick to add, blushing. ‘’It’s all just… pretending. Just for a while. Just until I can actually find someone to settle down with.”

‘’And why is it worth it for me?” The blonde asked, arms crossed. She cocked an eyebrow, watching Joan’s face, amused. ‘’I mean, don’t get me wrong, that’s a nice offer and all, but what’s in it for me?”

‘’Well, first of all, you won’t have to be a hooker anymore.” Joan said, giving her a small, polite smile. ‘’You won’t have to deal with your pimp- if he tries something, you can hand him some money you got from me, and shut him up. You will be living in a mansion, and get everything you want.”

‘’New clothes? Designer ones?” The girl asked, eyes glinting. Joan nodded, smile widening. She had plenty of money to spare- buying a few designer clothes for her was like buying groceries for anyone else.

‘’Even a car?”

‘’Maybe even a car. Anything you ask, I will get it for you. You will get as much money as you want, a warm bed and gourmet food. We don’t even have to be in the same room, like ever. You only have to be close to me when we go out. This is all I’m asking for. It’s mutually beneficial for both of us.”

‘’I guess so.” She replied, then frowned a bit. ‘’You said you have a kid?”

‘’You won’t have to look after him, I have a nanny.” Joan reassured her. ‘’It’s just pretending. Just for show. You know what, let’s see how that goes. Let’s say, if you decide you want to work for me, you will stay three months at first, to see if you’re comfortable. If after those three months you decide you don’t want to do this anymore, you’re free to leave whenever. I don’t want to force you to do anything you don’t want to. I just want to offer you a chance, as well as myself. It’s a win-win, but I need your consent.”

The girl was silent for a while, staring down at her shoes. Joan watched her face, trying to read her expression. After long seconds of utter silence, the blonde grinned.

‘’You know what? I think I would be stupid to miss out on this offer. I don’t have anything to lose, anyway. I’ll take it.”

Joan smiled, and reached for her hand, giving it a small squeeze. Maybe this was a giant mistake- maybe it was the stupidest, most desperate thing she has ever done. But the girl already agreed, and it would be an asshole move to take back her offer.

‘’What’s your name?” 

‘’Regina.” The girl replied. She gave Joan a smile of her own, and Joan felt like this was the first genuine one.

‘’Nice to meet you, Regina. I’m Joan.” She said, cheeks warm, ‘’And I guess I’m your sugar mummy now.”


	2. A Little Piece of Heaven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regina moves in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go again! I really enjoyed writing this chapter, please drop me a comment if you did, too!

Regina didn’t know what had gotten into her when she accepted the offer. It was desperation, probably, the wish to break out of the clutches of her old life and to finally fly free, that clouded her judgement. She had no idea what she was getting into- for all she knew, Joan could very well be a serial killer, and she was just being taken to the scene of her own gruesome murder. Maybe she would end up being subjected to a fate even worse than the one she suffered at the hands of her pimp- though she wasn’t sure how that was possible.

Regina became a prostitute at the age of nineteen, after every other terrible job she took failed. She didn’t even graduate: she dropped out of high school and ran away from home, living in cheap motels and at homeless shelters. At first, she had some semblance of hope that it would work out, but the only jobs she was qualified for didn’t pay well, and she was constantly being taken advantage of due to her age and her beautiful looks. It was only a matter of time until she was seduced by an older man, and got swept up in prostitution.

She always liked to think of herself as smart and crafty, but there came a point where that in itself wasn’t enough. Every single day was a constant battle for survival, trying not to get beaten up or arrested, and scraping enough money to have some food, and Regina was exhausted at last. She wanted a way out, but didn’t know where to go- she had no family, no friends to turn to. She was all alone, she had been for years, and there was no light at the end of the tunnel, apparently.

Except, there was Joan now, this strange, uptight business lady who took her under her wings out of nowhere, and offered to be her sugar mummy. Regina wondered when this will turn out to be a prank, because no way this was actually real: no way that a spoiled millionaire would give a single shit about the likes of her. She was nothing more than the dirt on the bottom of Joan’s expensive leather shoes, and yet, somehow, this woman treated her almost like an actual human being. It was not something Regina was used to, and it confused her to no end.

She peeked over at Joan carefully, expecting the punchline, Joan to suddenly open the door of her expensive car and kick her out while laughing into her face, or grabbing her hair and dragging her head down between her thighs to receive some gratitude for her kindness. But Joan did none of this; she kept her eyes on the road firmly, keeping a polite distance. She made small talk, occasionally, but Regina wasn’t really listening. 

She watched Joan, inspecting her features. She was not pretty in the traditional sense, her features a little more sharp and strict, but she had softness in her green eyes and in the curve of her lips, and Regina found herself liking what she saw. Joan oozed power, but gentleness as well, a heady mix of both worlds. She seemed to be a bit of an enigma, and Regina was immediately intrigued. She wondered what her story was, what went through that intelligent head of hers. She wanted to reach out and trace the strong line of her jaw, her sharp nose, wanted to run her hands through the soft, auburn waves, but she refrained. It was probably for the better if she stayed careful. If this was real, and Joan wasn’t just playing a cruel joke on her, then the smart move was to not risk her luck, and be as humble as possible. She couldn’t bite the hand that was supposed to be literally feeding her now.

‘’I’m not leaving you alone in my house today,” Joan’s voice was calm, seeping through the hazy filter of Regina’s mind, like a gentle, soothing melody. ‘’Not because I don’t trust you, but because it would be terribly impolite of me to do so.”

‘’Why are you really doing this?” Regina ended up asking, her hand lingering close to the car door, just in case she needed to make a run for it. Not like she knew how the damn thing opened, it seemed like every single thing was activated by voice command. Joan finally risked a glance at her, blinking in surprise.

‘’What do you mean? I told you why. I need company, and you need help.”

‘’Is this really what it’s all about?” Regina pressed, trying to hit a polite tone. As interested as she was in Joan, she still needed to keep a clear head. After all the horrible things she went through in her life, she knew to be careful with these sweet, impossible promises.

‘’Regina,” Joan spoke softly, eyes returning to the road ahead, ‘’I know it’s easier said than done, but please, trust me. I don’t want anything else from you, really. We’re just helping each other out. People will get out of my hair for a while, and you won’t have to live your life doing something dangerous and what you clearly hate.”

Regina fell silent. She stared out the window, watching the building blocks fly by. Joan told her she wouldn’t need to gather any of her old stuff- not like Regina had many, in the first place- because she would find everything she needs at Joan’s place. She was moving in already: as of today, she was no longer a hooker. She was a sugar baby, a fake girlfriend, and a fake mother to the child of a rich magnate. Just a few hours ago, she was getting harassed by a potential costumer who didn’t agree with her prices, practically snatching her off the streets even though Regina’s shift ended, and she wanted nothing more than to drag her tired body home and fall into her dirty, ragged bed at the motel. Now, she was sitting in a beautiful, silver Lamborghini with an ultra-modern smart system, heading towards what she imagined to be a Bruce Wayne-like castle with butlers and probably also an underground cave. Okay, maybe Joan was ‘’just” a bored millionaire, and wasn’t in fact a superhero, but after what she experienced this morning, nothing could have surprised her anymore.

‘’Won’t it be a problem, that you just left like that?” Regina questioned. Joan basically just marched out, calling someone on the phone and informing them she was leaving, and that was it. No re-scheduling, no chaos, no repercussions.

‘’I own the company, so there isn’t really anyone above me who could give me a hard time.” Joan explained. ‘’Besides, it’s literally one day off. I’ll be back tomorrow as soon as the Sun comes up.”

When Regina peered out the window again, the breath hitched in her throat. Before her, stood a huge three-story building, with immaculate white walls, surrounded by a tall iron fence. Stone lions perched on top of two granite poles that braced the gate. The yard was covered in fresh green grass, cut to perfection. Regina could also see another, smaller house, as well as a swimming pool, the sunshine glinting off the surface of the perfectly clean water. Regina didn’t even care how obvious she was with her staring, her eyes nearly bulging out of her head. She only saw houses like this in movies and magazines.

‘’There’s a lot of money in electronics, clearly.” She blurted out before she could stop herself, but Joan just laughed, seemingly unfazed by the comment. She pressed a button on her keys, and the door opened, sliding apart with almost majestic slowness. Regina could barely hold back a scoff. Of course even the fucking gate was elegant here. 

They rolled onto the pavement, the tiny stones crunching under the wheels of the Lamborghini. Regina all but plastered herself against the window, taking everything in with pupils blown wide and mouth agape.

‘’Is this really where I’m going to be living now?” She asked, nearly vibrating with excitement. Who cares if Joan ends up chopping her up in pieces, if she has a house like this!? This was worth everything that Regina ever had to face.

They rolled into the garage, where- to Regina’s biggest amusement- another car parked, a royal blue Ford Mustang. Regina desperately wished she had a driver’s license now- what she would give to drive that baby!

‘’It’s your house too, now.” Joan replied softly, stalling the engine. She slid out of the car, then rushed over to Regina’s side to open the door for her with a sheepish smile. Regina couldn’t help but smirk a little. Clearly, there was no need to be scared of Joan. She wouldn’t hurt a fly until it crossed her- and Regina was smarter than to do that.

She let Joan help her out of the car, her cheeks a little warm when their hands met. Alright, Joan really was very attractive, and she looked mouth-watering in her suit. Regina was just human, after all. Maybe this whole deal was just business, too, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t allow herself to look.

‘’You’ll meet my nanny and my chef, I think you’re gonna like them.” Joan told her, as they made their way up the stairs and to the front door. Joan politely let her in first, making Regina grin. She could definitely get used to this treatment after the constant abuse she had to endure.

‘’Wait just a second, darling, Joan is back home…” came a soft voice from one of the rooms. Regina’s eyes shot up to her hairline when a gorgeous black-haired woman appeared, her big brown eyes filled with surprise.

‘’Hi, Freddie.” Joan greeted her with a friendly smile. The woman- Freddie- continued to stare at Regina, before she shook her head, blinking rapidly.

‘’I didn’t realize you were having guests over.” She said, looking from Regina to Joan and back, clearly awaiting an explanation. Joan stepped forward, and with a completely calm, stoic voice, she said:

‘’This is Regina. She lives here now.”

Regina couldn’t help but snicker at the way Freddie’s eyes widened even more. She gaped like a fish out of water, her brain clearly fried over the information she just heard.

‘’Oh, uhm… well, welcome here, Regina.” She ended up saying, injecting some cheer into her voice. She sent Joan a questioning look, but the brunette just shrugged with an easy smile.

Another woman appeared, with a wild bush of curly hair, looking just as confused as Freddie. In her arms, she was holding a toddler, a little boy with light brown hair and blue eyes, who completely ignored Regina and grinned when he spotted Joan. Regina could only assume it was Joan’s kid, though she didn’t see that much of a resemblance.

‘’Mummy, you’re back!” He squealed, wriggling until the woman gently put him down. He ran straight into Joan’s opened arms, nearly knocking her off her feet. 

‘’Yes, I am!” Joan grinned, picking him up with ease and sitting him on her hip. Her smile was bright and genuine, and Regina noticed a truly endearing gap between her front teeth, as well as the way her eyes adorably crinkled. ‘’How come you’re not in kindergarten, was Freddie naughty and didn’t take you?”

‘’Hey!” Freddie pouted, arms crossed over her chest. ‘’I take my job very seriously, I’ll have you know.”

‘’Lots of kids are sick today,” the little boy explained, excited, ‘’they said not to go in, until it’s ness…necsary.”

‘’Necessary.” The curly-haired woman corrected him gently. She nodded politely at Joan, before her eyes drifted back to Regina, who was standing at the back, somewhat awkwardly. She didn’t know how she fit into this pretty little picture, the cheap hooker, the troublemaker. She suddenly felt naked in her skimpy outfit, and she hugged her torso, trying to hide herself. Watching Joan cuddle and coo to her son, she felt a pang inside her chest, a dull ache. She didn’t belong here, at all- who was she to shit on these lovely moments?

‘’So, Regina, right?” The curly one asked, reaching her hand out to her. Regina nodded numbly, shaking the hand as carefully as possible. ‘’I’m Brianna, Joan’s chef. Nice to, erm, meet you.”

Both her and Freddie were still clearly waiting for an answer from Joan, but she was too occupied with her son, whom she was lifting over her head with a grin, making him squeal with laughter. When she put him down, the little boy turned to Regina, giving her a toothless grin.

‘’I’m Caleb!” He informed her proudly. Regina found herself smiling, some of the tension inside her chest easing away.

‘’Hello, Caleb. I’m Regina.”

‘’Mummy, is Regina your friend?” Caleb asked. Joan cleared her throat awkwardly, her eyes finding Regina’s. Regina shrugged, letting Joan answer this one.

‘’Yes, she is.” Joan told him. Still looking at Regina, she smiled, warmer than Regina saw her before. ‘’She will be living with us for a while.”

Caleb seemed confused for a second, then he just grinned, clinging to her mother harder. ‘’Okay.” He said softly, and Regina, for some reason, felt relieved. It would have sucked not to be accepted by her sugar mummy’s kid, she supposed.

‘’I’m gonna give Regina a tour of the house,” Joan announced. She gently pried Caleb’s arms off her, handing him over to Freddie. Her and Brianna shared looks, seemingly having some kind of silent conversation, before they both nodded, a little uncertain.

‘’Come on.” Joan said softly, steering Regina forward with a gentle hand on her elbow. Regina couldn’t help but take a glance back at Freddie and Brianna, who were still standing there, dumbfounded. 

‘’You didn’t tell me you had a supermodel as a nanny.” Regina grinned. ‘’So, how many times have you fucked her?”

‘’I didn’t fuck Freddie!” Joan protested, blushing profusely. ‘’…okay, it happened one time. But only once, when she first got here!”

‘’I don’t blame you.” Regina told her with a sly grin. ‘’What about the chef?”

‘’Regina, I don’t fuck everyone!” Joan groaned. Her face was a deep shade of scarlet, and Regina found it a really cute look on her. ‘’I swear. Besides, I’m pretty sure her and Freddie are actually dating now.”

‘’How many employees do you have?” Regina asked. They made their way through a seemingly endless corridor, with walls painted a pleasant pastel color and adorned with paintings. Regina also saw a few antique vases with plants.

‘’It’s just them, but I call the cleaning company once every week.” Joan admitted. ‘’They both live in the house next to mine, and they come over for the day to take care of things while I’m away.”

‘’Your kid is cute.” Regina noted, her chest filling with pleasant warmth when she saw the proud look on Joan’s face. ‘’Where’s his father?”

‘’He’s adopted,” Joan explained. Ah. That explained the lack of resemblance.

‘’Aren’t you worried what he’s gonna think about having a whore in your house?” Regina felt a lump in her throat. She never really cared about what other people thought of her- but for some reason, she really wanted Joan to not look at her like some dirty rag. She wanted Joan to… what exactly did she want from her? To consider her a friend? That was ridiculous, clearly. And anything more than that was just plain lunatic. Her and Joan could never be a thing, not even if any of them would have wanted it. Still, Regina hoped Joan and her family wouldn’t be ashamed of her.

‘’Well, he is a little to young to know what that means,” Joan assured her softly, ‘’and besides, you are not a whore, not anymore. You are my partner… I mean, obviously just for show.” She shook her head, looking slightly embarrassed. ‘’Anyways, you know the deal. You don’t need to worry about my son. You just enjoy your stay, sit back and relax, and have fun.”

‘’What about boobalicious and curly sue? Would they be okay with having me around? They didn’t seem too happy.”

‘’I can handle Freddie and Brianna.” Joan promised. ‘’They are just surprised, that’s all.”

Joan showed her every single corner of the house, but no matter how many rooms Regina discovered, she was still completely in awe. Every single one was about three times bigger than her cheap motel room. She found out that downstairs was the lobby, the kitchen and dining room, and the gym (!), Caleb’s room and his separate playroom was on the first floor, along with a bathroom just for him, the second floor had Joan’s bedroom and her own bathroom, while the third floor was for the guests, with two separate bedrooms and another bathroom. Regina didn’t even realize one house could have so many bathrooms in it; Joan informed her that she can do whatever she pleased, could sleep in any of the rooms and was generally free to wander around.

‘’Only the best for your spoiled sugar baby, huh?” Regina teased her. Joan just grinned, but there was a softer, warmer edge to her smile that made Regina’s heart beat just a bit faster.

Regina ended up choosing the guestroom with light blue walls and a double bed. She immediately threw herself down on it, letting out an unashamed, loud moan when her sore muscles sunk into the heavenly softness. 

‘’A real fucking bed,” Regina whispered in awe, rolling around in the clean sheets like a child, uncaring of Joan’s watchful eyes on her, ‘’not a dirty mattress on the floor. Holy crap, this is orgasmic.”

‘’I’m glad you like it.” Joan laughed. She leaned against the doorframe leisurely, watching Regina with a fond smile. ‘’You can find clean clothes in the closet, I bought a few back then when I was having guests over.”

‘’You mean your bed buddies.” Regina giggled, wrapping herself up in the blankets like a burrito, squinting up at Joan playfully. Joan didn’t reply, but Regina could tell by her smile that yes, those clothes were definitely meant for those kinds of guests.

‘’Damn, you fox.” Regina muttered under her breath. ‘’But you promised I would get new clothes…?”

‘’I didn’t forget, don’t worry.” Joan chuckled heartily. ‘’I’m gonna get you a credit card for tomorrow, and you can buy whatever the hell you want.”

‘’I’m gonna buy myself new clothes, jewelry and make-up” Regina listed, rather to herself than Joan, ‘’and maybe I will get a cat, one of those super expensive ones that look like small leopards.”

‘’Yeah, I’m pretty sure you and Freddie will be great friends.” Joan said fondly. She just looked at Regina for a while, with such kindness in her eyes, as if Regina really deserved all of this: a new home, a stranger’s trust and respect, the fine things in life. She felt herself blushing, and she burrowed deeper into the blankets to hide it. She couldn’t even remember the last time she felt really close to someone, and it was so crazy to realize that despite knowing Joan for a day, she felt so drawn to her. She wondered if it was simply gratitude she felt, or something more.

‘’You can throw these clothes out,” Joan broke the silence. ‘’You won’t need those anymore.”

Regina looked down on herself, on the uncomfortable, cheap, plastic-y clothes that she hated with a burning passion but her pimp insisted were ‘’proper” for the job. She couldn’t wait to get rid of them, tearing off her old, miserable life, and slip into the fine silk of a new one.

‘’Can I take a bath?” She asked, eyeing the connected door to the bedroom wistfully. Her body ached with the need to sink into the warm water, washing off the dirt of the day.

‘’You don’t need to ask for permission,” Joan reminded her softly, her beautiful, green eyes sparkling. ‘’You are a free woman. It’s a beneficial deal for both of us, remember? You are not my prisoner.”

‘’Thanks, Joan.” Regina replied quietly, feeling her lips curl into a mellow smile. Joan smiled back at her, and suddenly, instead of the initial awkwardness, Regina felt comfortable and calm, for the first time in a long time.

‘’Clean towels are on the rack in the bathroom.” Joan informed her, before she ducked out of the room with a polite smile. 

Regina continued rolling around the bed some more, before she jumped to her feet and walked around the room, inspecting everything from up close: she checked her reflection in the vanity mirror, then flitted over to rummage through the giant closet. There were clothes in there in all styles and sizes. Regina ended up choosing a silky, peach-colored pajama set.

Slipping into the hot water felt like ascending to Heaven, at last. Regina didn’t remember the last time she sat in an actual tub, and now she enjoyed every single second of it. She stretched out like a starfish, propping her feet up on the edge of the tub. She found a bath bomb that smelled like coconut, and she couldn’t resist dropping it into the water, watching it fizzle and foam with fascination.  
The bath felt like getting cleansed from all the awful things she had to go through, at last. This was the beginning of something new, something different. Regina sunk lower in the tub, until only her head was peeking out. She relaxed, like Joan told her, breathing in the calming scents.

She had a feeling she would want to stay even longer than the first three test-months- and as she thought of green eyes and tooth gaps, she realized it wasn’t just the money and comfort that would cause her to stay.

\--

‘’A sugar baby!?” Freddie gasped, clutching a hand over her heart dramatically. She peered at Caleb, who was occupied with his car toys on the rug, not paying them any attention. ‘’Joan, dear, I know you like Pretty Woman, but since when are you Richard Gere?”

‘’Look, she needed help.” Joan grabbed an apple off the counter and bit into it with a deep sigh. Only now did she realize how hungry she was, and that Regina was probably even hungrier. Better fix her something quick; she needed to be as comfortable as possible.

‘’She looked so desperate, and I couldn’t just leave her to go back to that shitty life.”

‘’I mean, that is really noble of you,” Brianna conceded, ‘’but is substituting a meaningful relationship with a prostitute what you really need?”

‘’She’s not a prostitute anymore,” Joan argued, ‘’please stop calling her that. And yes, Brianna, for a while, it’s exactly what I need. And people would finally shut up about me being single. I have enough stress in my life as it is.”

‘’So, you’re using her.” Freddie stated, shaking her head with a sigh. ‘’Darling, you are going to break that poor girl’s heart.”

‘’No, I won’t.” Joan shook her head quickly. ‘’She knows it’s all just pretending, that it’s just business for the both of us. She wouldn’t want more, and neither would I.”

Freddie and Brianna shared a look, seemingly very unconvinced. Joan went back to her apple, feeling her cheeks turn an even deeper shade of red than the fruit she was holding. Clearly Regina wouldn’t want more, they agreed on the exact terms of this relationship. It was a new chance for the both of them, mutually beneficial. There was no need to think more of it.

Though why Joan’s chest tingled with warmth when she remembered Regina playing around in the blankets, her blue eyes shining bright and her smile angelic, Joan didn’t know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Regina is living her best life rn, i must say.


	3. Tango Just For Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regina accompanies Joan to a business dinner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some more feedback on this story would be really nice, because I'm kinda demotivated about this one and not particularly sure where or how to go on with it, so i might need some more boost :D

Three weeks have passed since Regina moved into Joan’s mansion, and with every second spent together, Joan grew fonder for the girl. 

Regina was quite the enigma, full of contrasts and surprises. She was loud and often very crude, but she often retreated into her head, eyes growing distant and mouth pursed into a thin line. Whenever she was in a mood like that, it was nearly impossible to get through to her. It reminded Joan of herself, somewhat, quiet and reserved and clearly troubled while unable to communicate her true emotions. Joan wondered how many more faces Regina had, and which one of them was real, rather than a masterfully crafted mask. Having a past like Regina, Joan supposed, was plenty of reason for someone to not be able to trust other people fully- though there was still so much she didn’t know. She, at least, found out that Regina was twenty-one years old, she ran away from home and fell into the traps of prostitution quite quickly. She didn’t really talk about her parents; she wouldn’t even tell Joan her last name, because apparently, she didn’t want to feel anchored to ‘’those people”. 

Regina burst into her life carrying a huge amount of emotional baggage and a hauntingly troubled past that she preferred keeping under locks, and yet, Joan found herself falling for quickly.  
It was stupid, she knew that, and definitely not part of the plan. This was all supposed to be just business, for a limited amount of time- but Joan managed to break her own rules. Regina was such a powerful, magnetic force, it was impossible to resist her. It wasn’t just the fact that she was insanely beautiful. All that mystery, all those intricate games of survival just pulled Joan in even harder. She wanted to know more, wanted to earn Regina’s trust enough to get closer to her. She wanted to read her like an open book, wanted to be the shoulder she could lean on once she let herself be just a bit more vulnerable.

Even if Regina kept secrets from her, she seemed to have taken a liking to Joan as well, or at least that’s how Joan saw it. Her eyes always lit up so beautifully whenever Joan walked into the room, and after a few days of awkwardness, she started seeking out Joan’s company on her own accord. Could have been the fact she was getting an insane amount of money and accommodation for her services, Joan supposed. Maybe her fondness of Joan was just another act, another frustratingly alluring layer of her personality- and Joan was such a damn fool falling for that act, and developing feelings that she shouldn’t have.

All the same, her chest filled with warmth and her lips twitched into a genuine smile when she spotted Regina at the kitchen table, sipping coffee and scrolling through the iPhone Joan got her. She was dressed in a silk floral kimono, a new one Joan hasn’t seen before- Regina probably bought it with Freddie, who often accompanied her to shopping trips, exactly like how Joan guessed. The two seemed to hit it off almost right away, after Freddie’s initial distrust was gone. It was great to see Regina fitting in and making friends.

When Regina looked up, a warm smile spread on her face. She seemed a little sleepy still, eyes droopy and hair a bit mussed up, and God, was it the most beautiful picture Joan has ever seen.

‘’Good morning,” Joan greeted her softly. Regina’s smile widened, but she quickly hid it behind the rim of her cup. ‘’Did you sleep well?”

‘’I’m still not used to the silk sheets.” Regina admitted with a little chuckle. ‘’I mean, don’t get me wrong, they are pretty awesome, it’s just simply insane. You know, not having springs cutting your back open.”

‘’I bought those silks on a trip to Japan.” Joan told her, while taking a seat next to Regina. She kept a polite distance, just to make sure she wasn’t uncomfortable. ‘’Have you ever been to Japan?”

Regina gave her a look that immediately made Joan regret her question. She shook her head with an awkward chuckle.

‘’Sorry. Uhm, it’s really pretty, you know.”

‘’I would like to go there someday.” Regina conceded, smiling once again. ‘’I always wanted to travel.”

‘’Where would you like to go?”

‘’Well, many places. I haven’t been to America either. I think I would dig Spain or Italy. Or Greece. But nothing too cold. I hate the fucking cold.”

‘’I could take you somewhere if you’d like.” Joan smiled when Regina’s eyes lit up, shining in awe like a million stars.

‘’Are you serious!?”

‘’Sure. On first class, of course.”

‘’Okay, now you’re just bragging.” Regina chuckled, but her voice sounded genuinely fond. She shot Joan a smile that could have melted butter, propping her chin up on her hands. She just watched Joan, closely, but not in a rude, intruding way. It was the same way Joan inspected Regina, trying to look behind the mask and see the real person underneath. Joan wondered what Regina made of her. Was she just a walking ATM, the sugar mummy who spoiled her rotten, a strict, no-fun business lady? Did Regina consider her a friend? 

She was so lost in the mesmerizing blues of Regina’s eyes, that she nearly forgot why she came down here in the first place.

‘’There’s a little event on Friday,” Joan started, turning her eyes towards the table. The only way to have a functioning brain, is to avoid those eyes. ‘’It’s a semi-annual dinner party. We shake hands with a few important business partners, lie about how much we value each other and drink champagne and wine.”

‘’Sounds fun. Wait no, it’s just the champagne and wine part.”

‘’I need you to come with me.” Joan told her, carefully watching Regina’s reaction. ‘’To be my piece.”

Regina was silent for a while. It was her end of the deal, she promised Joan she would accompany her to events like that. That was exactly what this new job entailed, and Regina supposed she was fine with it. Nothing wrong with a little dress-up and eating gourmet food for free, clearly. Though there was a tiny problem, namely the even-growing crush she developed on Joan. Regina wasn’t sure how she would be able to keep a clear head and play her part right with Joan’s arm around her waist. There was an instant attraction between them, and Regina knew it wasn’t only because she got money in exchange. Joan was just simply incredible, powerful and gentle at the same time, quiet but with a savage sense of humor. She was exactly the type of person Regina would have fallen head over heels for anyway, back when she believed love was real and dreams could come true.

She needed to not dwell on the past, though, but focus on the task at hand. 

‘’I’ll need a dress,” she ended up saying, painting a confident smirk on her face to hide her inner turmoil. ‘’A real pretty one. People will need to fawn over your girlfriend.”

Joan grinned, revealing that endearing gap between her teeth and making Regina’s heart skip a beat.

\--

Joan could immediately tell she picked the right dress for Regina.

One of her worst traits included being extremely critical, hard to impress. But what she saw absolutely took her breath away.

The black dress accentuated Regina’s form perfectly, hugging her hips in a way that made heat rise inside Joan. With every step she took, the slit-up side revealed a tasteful glimpse of her thigh and her high-heeled sandal with golden straps. The cleavage was not too deep, only enough to make you ache for more. As she descended down the stairs, hair in simple, loose curls and make-up on the more subtle side of glamorous, Joan suddenly wished she could still the moment and store it away forever. She wanted this beautiful image of Regina painted on the inside of her eyelids, so she could stare at it whenever she pleased.

‘’Regina is really pretty, Mummy.” Caleb noted from where he was hugging her legs. Regina’s eyes bore into Joan’s, a soft flush adorning her cheeks. Joan found herself smiling so hard, her face nearly ached.

‘’Yes, she is.” She ended up saying, and Regina’s blush deepened for a fleeting second, before she grinned, eyes raking over Joan.

‘’You’re not so bad yourself.” She said, taking in the sight of Joan in her navy blue suit set and high heels, her hair up in a bun. A few loose locks framed her face, and Regina had the sudden urge to wrap them around her finger and feel their softness.

‘’There’s something else for you.” Joan said, snapping out of her trance. She fumbled around in her pocket, revealing a velvet box. Regina watched curiously as she popped the lid open, then gasped when she noticed the gorgeous golden necklace.

‘’Joan, this is beautiful.” Regina breathed, eyes shining brighter than the jewelry. Joan swallowed heavily, lifting the necklace out of the box.

‘’May I?” She asked quietly, pointing at Regina’s neck. Regina seemed taken aback for a second, mouth gaping, but then she nodded. She lifted her hair, barely breathing as Joan stood behind her and draped the necklace over her neck. Her fingers trembled so badly, she needed to try several times before she managed to close the clasp.

‘’Here.” She croaked, taking a step back. Regina glanced down at her chest, running her finger over the chain of the necklace almost lovingly. It looked absolutely dreamy on her.

‘’Thank you so much, Joan.” She whispered. She glanced at the other woman, blinking rapidly. Joan ducked her head shyly with a sheepish smile.

‘’You are both really pretty!” Caleb grinned excitedly, clapping his little hands. ‘’Can I come to the party?”

‘’It’s only for adults, sweetheart.” Joan told him softly, kissing his cheek when he pouted. ‘’You would be bored.”

‘’Yes, and the food will be terrible.” Regina added with an over the top wince, making Caleb giggle. ‘’We will be eating snails!”

‘’Eww!” Caleb yelled, sticking his tongue out. ‘’I don’t want to eat snails!”

Joan laughed, eyes drifting back to Regina. Seeing her interact with her kid made her feel pleasantly warm. She was quite the natural, always happy to play with Caleb despite her initial worry over the fact Joan had a child. Caleb seemed to have taken a liking to her as well.

She wasn’t sure what came over her in that moment. It was as if her body moved on autopilot, when she reached her hand out for Regina, palms open and trusting. Regina stopped grimacing at Caleb, her eyes growing big as she stared at Joan’s hand.

‘’We should leave soon.” Joan told her softly. Regina nodded, biting down on her lip as she placed her hand into Joan’s. Her skin tingled when their fingers brushed.

When Joan looked up, she saw Freddie and Brianna watching them from a polite distance, eyes glued to where their hands met. Joan cleared her throat, then led Regina towards the door, all the while buzzing with nerves and something else she couldn’t quite place her finger on.

\--

There were so many people, all dressed in sharp suits and expensive gowns, and Regina felt her stomach twist with nerves.

Sure, for the casual onlooker, she didn’t seem too out of place, all decked out in a Versace dress and expensive jewelry, a mysterious eye candy on Joan Deacon’s side. But Regina knew the truth, that she was just a hooker underneath all this rich façade, someone these people would use to wipe their feet on. She wondered if they could tell she moved unnaturally in this place, if they could sense she was being paid to play the part. That she was fake: a fake rich girl, a fake girlfriend, who didn’t belong here and certainly didn’t belong with Joan.

A gentle hand brushed her side, anchoring her in the present. Regina found herself relaxing as soon as Joan touched her, plastering herself against her side. Even if being this close to her set Regina’s heart on fire in a way it shouldn’t, at least Joan wouldn’t judge her.

‘’Don’t be nervous.” Joan all but cooed, keeping her close with a steady arm around her waist. ‘’All you have to do is smile and be polite.”

‘’Won’t they ask questions? They might wanna know who I am.”

‘’You’re a family friend, Regina Meddows.” Joan informed her with a sly grin. ‘’You just got your doctorate in microbiology. We met again a few months ago, reminisced about our beautiful childhood friendship, and fell in love.”

‘’Awesome.” Regina chuckled. ‘’It makes me feel like a spy with a secret identity. Would I have to kiss you?”

Joan went pale, and Regina cursed internally. What kind of stupid question this was? Why did this even matter? She was basically an actress right now, she had to do whatever was asked of her to play her part right. Why on Earth did she need to ask that, and why did the possibility of kissing Joan made her heart race like that?

‘’Uhm, no, I don’t think so.” Joan stuttered, her face turning red from white. She fiddled with a lock of her hair, obviously nervous. Regina wanted to apologize for upsetting her, but they were suddenly approached by an elderly man in a suit, who grinned widely upon seeing them.

‘’Joan!” He said joyfully. Joan pulled herself together quickly, sending the man a dashing smile.

‘’Edward, it’s good to see you!”

They greeted each other with a friendly hug, while Regina stood in the back, feeling awkward and out of place listening to their small talk. She figured they knew each other quite well by their pleasant conversation and the way they joked around. The man flashed a grin at Regina, eyes lighting up in interest.

‘’And who is this lovely lady with you?”

‘’She’s my girlfriend, Regina.” Joan announced proudly. She pulled Regina just a bit closer, sending her an apologetic smile. ‘’Regina, this is Edward Carlson, he works for Sony.”

‘’A girlfriend?” Edward gasped. He reached for Regina’s hand and kissed the back of it, making Regina bite back a chuckle. Did people seriously still greet each other that way? ‘’Oh, that’s a pleasure to hear. You know, Regina, this girl was completely on the loose. We thought she would never settle down, but look at you two! I can just tell she’s head over heels for you!”

Regina couldn’t resist glancing at Joan, who looked like the collar of her shirt was suddenly too tight. She cleared her throat, cheeks flushed. 

‘’Is she?” Regina couldn’t help but ask, her voice wavering slightly. Edward nodded with a grin.

‘’Absolutely! I saw the way she’s looking at you, she has stars in her eyes! But I don’t blame her at all, I don’t mean to gross you out my dear, but you are absolutely gorgeous! I’m so very happy to see Joan has finally committed to a relationship, her little boy must be so happy he has two mums now!”

‘’Okay, Edward, sorry but we gotta go.” Joan squeezed out from between gritted teeth, all but dragging a giggling Regina away from the businessman.

‘’He really is into our relationship, huh?” Regina chuckled. ‘’I guess it was worth plucking me off the streets.”

Joan muttered something under her breath, but Regina could see the hint of a smile on her face.

She was introduced to so many people, Regina couldn’t keep track after a while. They seemed all absolutely pumped over the fact that Joan finally settled down, and now Regina kind of understood why Joan was so desperate to have someone she could show off. It must have been very stressful to be constantly nagged about her singledom, and how she was a bad mother for depriving her child of a ‘’full family.”

After the obligatory rounds of meeting and changing pleasantries with everyone, they were seated at the longest table Regina has seen in her entire life, stacked with so many delicious food her mouth immediately started watering. She felt embarrassed when her stomach rumbled loudly, but Joan just laughed, pulling her chair out for her with an elegant gesture.

‘’I don’t even know how to eat half of these,” Regina admitted as her eyes skimmed over the seafood section. ‘’My family was not too well off, so we never really had stuff like this.”

‘’Well, you’re lucky you have me,” Joan teased, ‘’because I’m ready to introduce you to the pleasure of seafood.”

‘’Can’t wait.” Regina grinned. ‘’But if something in there is alive, I’m out of here.”

Joan laughed heartily, pulling something onto her plate. It looked like a shell, with a slimy texture inside of it. Regina eyed it in distrust.

‘’I saw this one in like, movies of rich folks, but what is this called, again?”

‘’Oyster.” Joan told her, taking it into her hands. Regina frowned.

‘’There are all these utensils here, and you’re using your hands?”

‘’That’s how you eat an oyster.” Joan explained simply. To Regina’s biggest horror, she lifted the weird creature to her mouth and drank the disgusting substance out of it.

‘’Jesus fucking Christ, I’m going to throw up.” Regina winced. Joan just shrugged with a grin, placing the empty shell back onto her plate.

‘’It’s delicious. Wanna give it a try?”

‘’No way. It would be a cold day in Hell before I put something like this in my mouth, and I guess that’s pretty rich coming from me.”

Joan snorted, and Regina grinned proudly. Joan laughing was the most adorable thing in the world, and Regina wanted to see more of it.

She decided to stick with the chicken for the time being, but she had to admit, it was the most delicious food she has ever tasted. She was getting quite spoiled in that area as well, because Brianna was a wonderful cook, and now this. She used to have one or two hot meals a week, and now she was fine dining in the company of the richest people in the United Kingdom.

She was getting fairly tipsy on the wine that the waiters kept providing in an endless flow, and she felt herself relax, leaning back in her chair with a dreamy sigh. Just a few weeks ago, she was a nobody from the streets, dressed in cheap rags and used in every which way her clients liked, used and abused and starving, and now she was the fine armpiece of one very rich Joan Deacon, the mysterious and gorgeous blonde whom everyone was fawning over. Regina found it a bit hilarious, that the same people that were now kissing her hand and praising her on her beauty would have probably spat at her feet before- after they took her for a round, of course, because at least that she was good at.

She glanced at Joan, who was currently talking to someone, deeply engrossed in the conversation. Regina watched how the reserved woman slowly let her guard down when she was talking about a project she was truly passionate about, how animated she became while she spoke. Regina wondered if Joan was just as passionate about her as about that gadget they were discussing.

That Edward guy told her Joan seemed to be head over heels for her, but that couldn’t be true, could it? Their deal was strictly business, a chance for the both of them to fix their lives a little bit. No real feelings whatsoever. And why would polished, sophisticated Joan feel anything for someone like Regina? Even if she wore pretty dresses now, she was still the same chewed-up and then spit-out prostitute with a dark past. Joan saw her at her worst, chewing her gum with her mouth open and offering a blowjob to a client, saw the bruises on her arm and the desperation in her eyes. Why would she want anything to do with her after all of that?

Joan turned her head, and their eyes met. Regina stared into those gorgeous greens, and felt the pace of her heart picking up again. Joan smiled, oh so warmly, and her hand found Regina’s knee under the table, giving it the softest, lightest of squeezes- it made Regina’s skin break out into goosebumps all the same.

‘’Are you okay?” Joan asked softly, checking in with her. Regina smiled back, her own fingers brushing Joan’s hand just lightly.

She was completely genuine when she said yes.

\--

Joan wondered if she was pushing her luck, and was being too much right away. This was the first big outing she took Regina to, and she didn’t want to overwhelm her immediately. 

But as she watched her with that relaxed smile on her face, cheeks rosy from the wine, so otherworldly beautiful, Joan just couldn’t resist. She figured she could give in to that magnetic force, just for one night.

‘’Dance with me,” She said all of a sudden, causing Regina to stare at her like she just asked her to do something atrocious.

‘’What?” Regina croaked, eyes wide in disbelief. ‘’I can’t dance.”

‘’I’ll teach you.” Joan promised. She reached out her hand, like she did back at her house, waiting for Regina to take it. ‘’It will be fun.”

‘’What will your colleagues say about you having a girlfriend who keeps tripping over her feet?” Regina asked, staring at Joan’s extended hand with worry in her eyes. ‘’I don’t want to fuck this up for you…”

‘’You won’t, trust me. Besides, everyone else is already dancing. They won’t pay attention to us.”

Regina hummed, still staring at Joan’s hand. Joan waited, patiently, then grinned when Regina eventually took her hand with a shrug.

‘’I guess I can give it a try.”

Joan led her to the dancefloor, her heart beating hard in her chest. She ignored the other dancing couples, focusing on Regina who looked around almost shyly, unsure of herself.

‘’It’s not difficult.” Joan promised. She swallowed around the lump in her throat, squeezing Regina’s hand just a bit tighter. ‘’Just place your right hand on my shoulder, and I’ll put mine on your waist. I’ll lead.”

‘’And the other one?” Regina asked, staring down at their still intertwined hands. Joan couldn’t resist running her thumb across her knuckles, just fleetingly.

‘’They will just stay like this.”

Joan tried to remember how to breathe when Regina’s hand gripped onto her shoulder, still a little awkward, but trusting Joan in a way she hasn’t before. That was what Joan liked the most about slow dancing: couples needed to put all their trust into one another, if they wanted to make it work. So far, Regina was a bit closed off, not sure how much she was allowed to show of herself, and Joan was the same. They danced around each other, only getting to know as much as the other person allowed. Now, they were facing each other, ready to commit to one of the most intimate ways of which two people could hold each other. It was a huge step towards trust, to open their hearts up for the other some more.

Joan swayed them slowly to the gentle melody of the music, eyes firmly fixated on Regina’s face. Regina stared down at her legs, desperately trying not to step on Joan’s feet. She moved stiffly, carefully- but she let Joan take the lead, willing to follow her.

‘’You can look at me,” Joan whispered. She wasn’t sure if Regina heard her- but the blonde did, eyes drifting upwards and settling on Joan’s face. She looked at her like this was the first time she ever, truly saw her- and Joan found herself getting lost in those eyes once again.

‘’Hello.” Regina whispered, a faint smile playing on her lips. Joan grinned, squeezing Regina’s hip lightly.

‘’Hello.”

They continued to sway together, eyes on each other’s face- and for the first time since they met, none of them felt awkward, or closed off. It just felt completely right, for the both of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just business, am I right?


	4. Sweet As Candy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regina helps make Joan's Zoom call a little bit more entertaining.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a shorter, somewhat filler chapter- but I filled it with a lot of fluff!

"Isn't she just the most gorgeous thing ever?" Freddie cooed, peering over Regina's shoulder with bright eyes. Regina, like a proud parent, grinned widely, holding the tiny creature closer against her chest.

The beautiful - and very expensive - Bengal kitten, named affectionately Dolly after Dolly Parton, purred happily, rubbing her cheek against Regina's neck.

Joan watched them from the doorway, lips curled into a warm smile. Getting Regina's dream cat was clearly paying off- the blonde hasn't let go of the animal since Joan came home with a meowing box. She figured that not only was she spoiling her sugar baby with a fantastic gift, but also giving her some company. Regina never mentioned it, probably to not be impolite, but Joan often wondered if she was ever feeling lonely in the huge mansion. She had been getting closer with both Brianna and Freddie, and she was often seen clowning around with little Caleb, but Joan wanted to make sure she had everything she needed to feel well-loved.

To think about it, it probably wasn't just about their partnership anymore. Sure, Joan ensured her image of a family-loving business lady was perfectly polished, and it would have been a bummer to lose that, but Regina meant more to her, Joan had to realize.

She tried so hard not to let her private feelings interfere with their deal, but the longer Regina stayed, the deeper in love Joan fell. Regina was so full of endearing contrasts, a perfect mix of soft and rough, gentle and rude, jovial and broody: with every new layer of her personality discovered, Joan's fondness for the girl grew.

Regina seemed to be fitting in more and more: she gained a bit of weight, her cheeks filling out and turning a lovely rosy color, and finally Joan couldn't count all her ribs sticking out against her skin. Her hair was shinier and stronger, her skin clearer. Joan took her to the doctor, just in case, to see if she got infected by anything during her work, but luckily, Regina was healthy as rain. She was thriving, with a constant glimmer in her blue eyes, and a certain softness in her smile whenever she looked at Joan. A lovely image that was, one that Joan never grew tired of looking it, knowing it was partially her handiwork that caused Regina to shine so brightly. Whatever may come of their strange relationship, Joan was sure she would never regret taking that poor, abused girl in.

"I love that she looks like a leopard!" Caleb said, for the thousandth time since little Dolly arrived. He stroked the cat's soft fur, eyes big in awe.

"She also has these stripes," Regina said, tracing the patterns over the kitten's chest, "so she's a mix of leopard and tiger!"

"Joan, this girl is my new best friend," Freddie announced, throwing an arm around Regina. "Anyone who appreciates the beauty of cats is an angel in my eyes!"

Regina laughed and hugged her back with one arm, the other still holding onto Dolly. "So, that means you trust me now?"

"Of course I do." Freddie replied softly, blushing slightly. She still felt a little ashamed over her initial distrust and prejudice. Both her and Brianna warmed up to Regina now, seeing that she wasn't going to rip off Joan and then just run away- and they also noticed the magnetic attraction between the two women, which they often teased Joan with.

Regina peered over at Joan, her smile widening. She beckoned her over with an almost teasing glint in her eyes, and Joan flew over to her, as if dragged on strings.

"Would you like to hold her?" Regina asked softly. Joan reached for Dolly wordlessly, her skin tingling with electricity when their hands brushed together in the process.

Brianna gave them both a shit-eating grin. "It's almost like you two had a baby together."

Joan choked on her spit, startling Dolly. The kitten meowed in distress, jumping straight into Freddie's arms, who squealed in triumph. Regina bit down on her lip, ducking her head until the shiny curtain of her hair covered her face completely.

"Brianna, that is silly!" Caleb informed her in his typical know-it-all voice, little nose stuck in the air. "Dolly is not a baby! She's a little kitten, only humans can be babies, you should know that!"

"So silly, you are." Freddie cooed, batting her eyelashes at Brianna who grinned in response, pinching Freddie's butt when no one was looking.

Regina and Joan were two busy blushing at each other, anyway. Their eyes drifted to the other's face shyly, emerald green meeting sapphire blue. A faint smile tugged on Joan's lips, and Regina couldn't help but smile back.

Their little moment was interrupted by the shrill sound of the alarm going off on Joan's phone, nearly causing her to fall back onto her ass.

"Crap, I'm gonna be late for my meeting!" She sighed. She didn't really feel like leaving this idyllic picture behind, but duty was calling. "I'll be in the other room, please behave yourselves."

She kissed the top of Caleb's head and squeezed Regina's shoulder gently, shooting her a small smile. She tried not to think too hard about how her heartrate sped up when Regina brushed her fingers against the hand resting on her shoulder.

"Gotta get back to the kitchen," Brianna announced. "Freddie, will you come help?"

"Sure, darling!"

"Oh, come on, everyone knows you're really going to make out." Regina snickered. Freddie and Brianna spluttered in synch.

"Regina, what does making out mean?" Caleb asked curiously. The two guilty lovebirds yelled "Nothing!" in unison, while Regina badly tried to hide her giggles.

After everyone left the room, and all that was left was her, Caleb and Dolly, an idea suddenly sprung to Regina's mind. She grinned wickedly, leaning close to the little boy.

"Caleb," she whispered into his ears, "wanna do something fun?"

Caleb clapped his hands excitedly, bouncing up and down. "Yes!"

Regina chuckled, ruffling his hair. The boy definitely grew on her- sometimes it almost felt like he was her son, though Regina always desperately tried waving these kinds of thoughts away. They were inappropriate, and caused more harm than good. Still, she had to admit she loved the little troublemaker.

"I think we should surprise Mummy," Regina told him, "those conference calls can be so boring!"

Caleb cheered, throwing himself into Regina's arms. Regina squeaked in surprise, but held him close all the same.

\--

They sneaked to Joan's room, walking on the tips of their toes to not make a sound. Caleb was absolutely having a field day with their game, feeling like a spy in a movie as Regina pressed a finger against her lips in an exaggerated manner, signaling him to be quiet.

As they pressed their ears against the door, they could hear the faint sounds of Joan's Zoom call. She told Regina it wasn't a very important meeting, they only needed to discuss a few details with her colleagues - that's why Regina had the courage to prank her. Otherwise, she would leave her alone, as she knew how important this job was for Joan.

She opened the door just a crack, peeking inside. Joan was sitting in her leather chair, looking perfectly bored out of her mind. On the screen, Regina could see three older men and one lady, all of them just as unfazed as Joan was.

Time to bring some entertainment.

Regina pushed the door fully open with her shoulder, pulling Caleb inside. The little boy hid his giggles behind one of his hands, the other was holding a very confused Dolly.

Joan didn't realize any of this, absent-mindedly playing with her pen while one of her colleagues was reading out numbers in a monotone voice. She was perfectly zoned out, which allowed the 'spies' to approach her easily.

When Caleb was close enough, he all but jumped into Joan's lap, nearly knocking her off the chair. Joan yelped, flailing around to hold him before he fell, too, while her colleagues stared with their mouths gaping open.

"Surprise!" Caleb exclaimed, pressing a wet kiss onto his mother's cheek. Dolly meowed, staring into the webcam with huge eyes.

‘’Joan, what is going on?” A voice from the other side of the screen asked. Regina recognized it as Edward, the jovial dude from the dinner party.

‘’Honestly, not sure myself.” Joan replied, huffing out a laugh. She bopped Caleb on the nose who giggled, nuzzling himself closer.

‘’It was a surprise attack, Mummy!”

‘’It sure was.” Joan smiled. She couldn’t have it in her to be mad at her son- she never could, not even when he was out there being his troublemaker self. Besides, they weren’t even talking about anything important. Caleb interrupting was a breeze of fresh air during such a boring online meeting.

She saw movement from the corner of her eye, and when she turned, she spotted Regina leaning against the doorframe, tears in her eyes from laughing at her so hard. Joan found her heart swelling inside her chest, so much she was afraid it would burst.

‘’I think I know who came up with that.” She said, unable to hit a scolding tone. Regina just shrugged, shoulders still convulsing with stifled laughter.

‘’We don’t mind them staying if they can be quiet.” One of Joan’s colleagues said exasperatedly. He was immediately shushed by another meeting participant, Francesca.

‘’Don’t be such a gruff, Jeff,” she said, a genuine smile lighting up her face, ‘’I think it’s really sweet that Joan has such a lovely family who cannot spend an hour without her!”

At the mention of family, Joan’s heart did another leap inside her chest. They couldn’t know, obviously, that this was all just pretending: they only saw her playful little boy and her cheeky girlfriend, clinging to her. And despite herself, Joan found this image soothing. Even if it wasn’t real, it gave her a sense of comfort like nothing else, something that made her feel more alert and alive in the past few months than any amount of black coffee could. Regina wasn’t the only one thriving since they started their deal. Joan was, too.

‘’Sorry for bothering,” Regina said softly, gently pulling Caleb out of Joan’s lap. There was a shyer edge to her voice, now, probably worrying that Joan would scold her later. ‘’Let’s leave Mummy to her work, okay?”

Joan reached out and gently grabbed her wrist, stopping her movements. Regina’s skin buzzed pleasantly where Joan’s thumb touched it.

‘’It’s okay, you can stay,” Joan told her, and she meant it, truly. She looked up at Regina pleadingly. ‘’Please, stay.”

Maybe it was silly, just wishful thinking, but a part of Regina believed there was more behind those words: staying, as in staying in the room with her, and staying as in extending their deal for an unknown amount of time. The three months mark was quickly approaching, and neither of them really wanted to part. Regina wanted to stay way longer than that, and Joan wanted that, too.

‘’I’ll stay.” Regina replied with a smile. Joan smiled in relief, letting go of her hand.

Regina sat on the bed behind Joan, barely out of the webcam’s reach, Caleb clinging to her. Dolly cuddled up against her leg, purring away happily.

‘’Your girlfriend is still just the loveliest,” Edward cooed. ‘’Better be careful, or I’ll steal her away from you!”

‘’Don’t even try.” Joan found herself saying, more seriously than she initially intended. Edward chuckled, holding his hands up in surrender. Joan didn’t dare turn around to see the look in Regina’s eyes.  
It wasn’t easy to focus on the conversation after that, it was probably even harder, but at least Joan wasn’t fantasizing about crawling under her desk anymore. Just knowing Regina was there with her son, just feeling their presence was enough to make her push through the meeting.

She couldn’t help it; sometimes her eyes did drift towards Regina. She was whispering something into Caleb’s ear, who giggled. Joan caught them making faces at the camera sometimes, just fleetingly, before they all pretended to be innocent. It took all of Joan’s iron will not to march over to the bed and kiss Regina senseless, even though that was what she craved the most. She couldn’t exactly peg the beginning of when she truly started falling in love with Regina, but whenever that was, Joan was fairly certain she fell even deeper today. She saw another side of Regina, a playful, childlike persona who was always up for fun, and Joan adored that part of her. She wanted to see more of it, wanted so many more zoom meetings where Regina and Caleb joked around in the background, trying to distract her from the boring call. Joan wanted to experience more of this idyllic, familiar feeling, where she could pretend it was truly all real.

‘’I bet they think you are my other Mummy,” Caleb whispered into Regina’s ears, grinning widely. Something twinged inside Regina’s chest, but she did her best to ignore it. Instead, she tapped her finger against her lip, making Caleb wink and make a zipping movement across his own mouth.

Regina caught Joan looking a few times, and her heart beat just a tad faster every single time she did. Here she was, the hardworking woman who adored her family- the one who held so much power, yet never abused it. The strong and the soft, all rolled into one. Regina wanted to stare at her forever, during the different moments that showcased all these facets of her personality: during work, during playing with Caleb or reading a book in her comfortable armchair. Regina knew no matter which side of Joan she was currently seeing, she would adore every one of them.

‘’Let’s call it a day.” Joan said eventually, sending her colleagues a polite smile. ‘’I’m going to be seeing you all on Monday.”

‘’You are a very lucky woman, Joan,” Francesca said, looking intently at the background where Regina and Caleb were still cuddling with their kitten. Joan followed her eyes, setting them on Regina’s face. The blonde gave her a smile, blotches of pink painting her cheeks. 

‘’Yeah,” Joan breathed, every single muscle in her jaw aching as her smile pulled impossibly wide, mirroring the happiness that swirled in her heart when Regina smiled back at her with all the shine of a bright star.

‘’I am very lucky.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone welcome Dolly, this sweet little soul who has no idea what she's getting into.


	5. Does Your Mother Know?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joan introduces Regina to the rest of her family, and it ends up being a bit of a surreal experience.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is anyone still here? :D
> 
> Here I am with another chapter, and still pining idiots.

Regina couldn't remember the last time she felt this nervous - waiting to be picked up by her very first client came close. Luckily for her, though, her brain erased most of her memories about that. While other people tended to carry traumatic experiences around with themselves wherever they went, Regina was blessed with the gift of being able to shut them out. That was how she survived on the street, that was how she moved forward.

While she couldn't remember the exact details, she could definitely remember the nerves twisting her stomach, her heart pounding fast, cold sweat pouring down her back. She grabbed onto her thighs that shook violently, wiping her clammy palms on her skirt.

A warm, comforting hand covered her own, stilling her anxious movements and pulling her back into the present. She wasn't a prostitute anymore, selling her body for survival every single day: it was all okay now. Joan was here, she would take care of her.

"It's gonna be okay," Joan promised, giving her thigh the gentlest, lightest squeeze. She was still so polite around Regina, careful with how she moved around her. Sometimes Regina wished Joan would grab her instead and pull her into a kiss. Sometimes, she wished she could be that brave, and kiss Joan.

"They will love you," Joan continued, focusing one eye back on the road. It was lovely to see her out of her elegant business clothing for once: she was only wearing a comfortable flannel over a top with jeans, her hair down in loose waves. Regina found herself falling even deeper as she watched her, just simple, every day Joan.

"You can't be sure about that." Regina murmured. She gripped onto Joan's hand- that was allowed, wasn't it? - staring out the window blankly. She watched the cars, the trees and mountains rushing by, blending together into a splash of messy color.

"How do you feel about lying to your family, by the way?" She asked, glancing at Joan from the corner of her eye.

Joan bit down on her lip, tapping her fingers against the steering wheel, like whenever she felt nervous. She wasn't particularly fond of keeping the truth from her own mother and her brother, but that was for the best, right now. Lillian needed to meet Regina in order to finally get off the subject of desperately finding Joan a partner. They would see that she settled down with a girl, a nice one who loved her dearly and took care of her child as if he was her own.

Joan wished that was true, too. The three months test mark passed, and when she anxiously asked Regina what now, the blonde decided to stay, lighting Joan's heart up with hope. In that moment, she could barely hold herself back from dragging Regina to her feet and kiss her until neither of them could breathe properly anymore. Regina's eyes were shining, with something akin to happiness, and Joan stored that memory away as one of the happiest, coming right up behind the memory of adopting Caleb. If this fact didn't speak louder than any words, then nothing else could. Joan was desperately, hopelessly in love- but the fairytale part ended here. Regina might stay with her, but it wasn't all that different from renewing a contact and elongating their partnership. She might consider Regina a friend (and who knows, maybe Regina considered her one, as well), but that still changed nothing in the grand scheme of things. They were still tied by the limits of their deal. Regina wasn't her girlfriend, even if she acted as such during main outings, sticking to her side and fitting so well under Joan's arms. She wasn't the mother of her child, even if they got along so well, with Regina playing cars with him and reading stories to him before falling asleep - sometimes, Caleb demanded Regina to read instead of Joan or Freddie. But there was nothing real about this. Once Regina gets bored, and once Joan actually finds someone to settle down with, it was over. By that time Regina would have enough money to make it on her own without having to go back to the streets, but that didn't mean Joan would let go of her too easily. Besides, why couldn't that woman she would settle down with, be Regina herself...?

She waved away her thoughts, focusing on the actual question instead. Yes, she did feel bad about lying, but making her mother aware of their relationship was crucial. She could check off another stress-factor off her list.

"It's for the greater good," Joan tried to joke, but it fell flat, even for herself. "I mean, they need to know I'm okay now. That I'm not stretching myself thin without someone on my side to give me some love, you know? They would calm down, and leave me alone."

"I see." That didn't exactly make Regina any calmer- in fact, it only made her feel worse. She was already nervous, because she didn't want to mess up Joan's relationship with her family - and, they might not be a real couple, but Regina still wanted to make a good first impression. Funny how love can change someone: before meeting Joan, Regina walked around carelessly, not giving a shit about what anyone thought of her. Now, she wanted to make sure Joan was proud, that those sparks in her eyes were there because of her.

She was scared that Lillian wouldn't approve. She was scared that Joan would realize she was just wasting her time and money on her, and would throw her out before she could tarnish her reputation more. Everyone was at least a bit dependent on their family's approval, and Regina, after seeing how deep the connection between Joan and her son was, was fairly certain that it also meant a great deal for Joan. And considering they weren't even together, what would stop Joan from cutting her out, if her mother disapproves? They had no emotional connection - secretly pining for someone else without doing anything about it didn't count. They were sort of friends, maybe, but not enough that Joan would choose her over her own family. And while Regina would respect that decision, it would hurt, she knew.

But she would have to leave eventually anyways, wouldn't she? Once a normal woman comes along, one that Joan can actually commit to, she would have to go. Where would she go, anyways? Joan promised her she wouldn't have to go back to her pimp, that she would give her enough money to buy a nice house and start a new life, but Regina wasn't so sure anymore that it would be enough, not after her and Joan had to separate.

Realizing that she was catastrophizing again, and nearly crushing Joan's hand with how hard she was squeezing it, she took another deep breath, holding it inside her chest before letting it out slowly.

"What do I need to do?" She asked Joan. Her voice finally wasn't trembling so bad.

"Just be yourself. She will be head over heels for you."

"Bad idea, Joan. If I were really myself, I would spread on the couch with a beer and chewing gum with my mouth open. I doubt your mother would find that charming."

Joan chuckled softly at the mental image. She couldn't resist giving Regina's leg another, fleeting squeeze. "Then, just smile, and be polite. You know who you are."

"Yeah, another fabricated story I need to keep in mind." Regina rolled her eyes. "I'm still Regina Meddows, but now I'm not a family friend from microbiology, obviously, but an intern at your company. What if your colleagues and your mother meet, and they both know very different stories about who I am?"

"They won't meet, don't worry. She never met my colleagues before, I try to keep my work separate from my family. Don't be nervous, okay? We're not even staying for too long."

She sent Regina an encouraging little smile, and the blonde returned it, eyes cast downwards. Okay, she could do this. For Joan, she could. But she really wished Lillian would find her to her liking, for everyone's sakes.

The rest of the drive was spent in calm silence, the humming of the radio the only sound in the background. By the time they got to Lillian's house, Regina was almost relaxed- that lasted only until she saw the small, but definitely wealthy house. Her stomach dropped when Lillian appeared in the doorway, smiling and waving at Joan's car. Suddenly she forgot all about being herself and just letting things flow. Crap, Joan's mum seemed like such a nice lady, and what was she getting? A fake daughter in law, who's also a former whore.

"Breathe." Joan reminded her softly. She patted Regina's knee before exiting the car, sending a smile towards her mother. She walked around the car and opened the door for Regina, reaching out her hand for her. Regina took it, eyes cast downwards, heart pounding almost painfully quickly inside her chest.

Joan didn't let go of her hand as they walked up the path leading to the front door, and Regina was very aware of how small her hand was in Joan's, and how that lit her skin on fire.

"Joan!" Lillian Deacon greeted her daughter cheerfully, all but flying over to Joan and pulling her into a bone-crushing hug. Joan let out a soft squeak, but she wrapped her arms around her mother with a smile. She was a tiny lady- Regina guessed Joan inherited her height from her father.

"It's good to see you, Mum." Joan pulled back, keeping one arm around her mother still. She looked at Regina and smiled, and for some reason, Regina felt like it was genuine.

"Mum, this is Regina. My girlfriend."

Lillian gasped, and Regina's heart grew heavy as lead. She wondered if Lillian could tell something was off with her- mothers could always sense things like that, couldn't they? Could she see that she was fake, that she was just a dirty rag from the streets? She stood still like a statute, trying for a smile, but it only resembled a nervous twitch of her facial muscles.

"Oh Dear, don't look so nervous!" Lillian cooed, pinching her cheeks. Regina blushed as Lillian hugged her, too, squeezing surprisingly hard for someone so tiny. "You're so lovely, Regina. It's nice to meet you!"

Without giving Regina the chance to answer, she turned to Joan, scolding her playfully with wagging her finger in front of her face. "It was definitely about time, young lady! I thought you would never settle down, you cheeky thing. But I see you found your match, I'm so happy!"

Now, Regina felt even worse. Lillian was so happy over her daughter finally having a constant in her life, and it wasn't even real. Joan sent her an exasperated 'i told you so' look, and Regina managed a small smile.

"Come inside, don't just stand here!" Lillian laughed, inviting them with wide gestures. "I made dinner, it's your favorite, Joan!"

"We won't be staying for too long," Joan told her gently as they walked inside. "We're getting up early tomorrow."

On the walls, Regina saw pictures of Joan: fishing, eating, fixing something that seemed like a radio, playing football with her brother. There was a dude on some of the pictures, and Regina could immediately see the resemblance. He must have been Joan's father.

A boy around her age emerged from the kitchen with a grin. Joan hugged him and patted him on the head playfully. The boy grinned at Regina, eyes lighting up in interest.

"So, you're the girl that melted the ice around my sister's heart at last, huh?"

"Julian!" Joan hissed, making her brother and her mother laugh. Regina found herself biting back a smile as well.

"Something like that." She shook Julian's hand, feeling some of the tension inside her melt away. It seemed like as if they took a shine to her right away- and truth be told, Regina liked them, too. Lillian was a typical mum, fussing around her kids as if they were still five years old, and Julian was a cheeky, good-natured boy. Regina felt almost at home with them.

"Why didn't you bring my beloved grandson?" Lillian pouted up at Joan. "Where's my little troublemaker?"

"He's too occupied with his cartoons, you know how he gets." Joan lied. Actually, they didn't want to bring Caleb, because there was a chance he would have blew the lid on Joan and Regina's covers. It was safer if they left him home. "Freddie and Brianna are watching him, don't worry. And as I said, we won't be staying for too long."

Lillian shook her head with a long suffering sigh, but her eyes lit up when she looked at Regina. "Come, sit! Would you like some tea, Dear?"

"Yes, please." Regina replied, not wanting to be impolite. They took seats on a big, plush couch. Joan made sure to sit as close to her as possible - and, when she actually wrapped an arm around her shoulder, Regina's heart did somersaults inside her chest.

Lillian returned with a tray stacked with mugs of tea and biscuits, chattering on about how happy she was for her daughter, that she finally found a serious girl. She sat opposite them, with Julian on her side, her face bright.

"Regina, tell me about yourself! How did you two meet? Joan was so mysterious!"

Regina swallowed thickly. She felt Joan squeezing her shoulder, trying to encourage her a little. Funny that story was, actually. Regina had no doubt poor Lillian would drop dead if she knew the truth.

"I'm interning at Joan's company right now," Regina told her, as they practiced. "I'm not actually working under her, but for the creative team, and we ran into each other on my third day. She was very nice and accomodating, and made me feel right at home."

That last part was definitely true- home never really existed for Regina, until she met Joan. She smiled at the brunette, feeling her heart flutter when Joan smiled back.

"So, yeah. This is how we met. And I, uhm, I'm not very interesting. I went to Langdon university and studied creative design. I moved in with Joan a couple months ago."

"I cannot believe it took you so long to introduce this lovely girl to me!" Lillian huffed at Joan, but her eyes softened again. "You know, this girl was helpless. Sometimes I thought she was actually happy being all alone! Imagine the near heart attack when she randomly decided to adopt a baby!"

"I took care of Caleb just fine," Joan reminded her, a little defensive.

"I know that, Dear, but still. I wanted you to be as happy as you can be, and with inheriting the company after your father passed... You had such a huge responsibility on your shoulders, so much work to do... I was worried how you could handle a baby all alone."

She turned back to Regina again, eyes a little solemn. "No one likes being lonely, and my Joan didn't, either. But she kept sabotaging herself. Now, she finally has someone she can rely on, and I'm so happy for you two. I can just tell how much you love each other. All these longing looks of new love!"

Joan nearly choked on her tea. Regina's cheeks turned a deep red color. Julian grinned, and Lillian just looked amazed. Here was the second person, Joan's own mother at that, who said they noticed how they were looking at each other - now Regina started to wonder if they played their parts so well, or if there was something to it. Could it be, that Joan actually felt the same?

She peered over at the other woman carefully. Joan's cheeks were just as red as hers, staring at the carpet. She appeared to be hiding behind the auburn curtain of her hair.

Luckily, Lillian didn't press the topic any further. Her eyes spoke louder than any words, anyways; she looked at them so proudly, so lovingly, in a way only a mother who desperately wished a normal life for her child, could. She liked Regina and believed she was the right person for her daughter.

"How's Caleb taking the situation?" Julian asked softly. "You know, that he has two mothers now."

"He's taking it really well." Joan said with a smile. "He really loves Regina."

"That's mutual." Regina added softly, completely genuine. Joan's heart did a little leap at the words.

"They get up to all kinds of shenanigans together- sometimes I believe I actually have two kids now!"

"Hey!" Regina huffed, though there was no real malice in it. "I'm perfectly mature, I have to inform you!"

"That's why you were having a cereal fight with Caleb the other day until the whole kitchen was swimming in Cheerios, huh?"

"It only happened once!" Regina laughed, swatting at Joan's knee. "You're making it a bigger deal than it is! I'm very mature!"

"Sure you are," Joan teased, "but that's why I love you."

The air immediately froze around them. Regina blinked rapidly, eyes growing wide. Joan looked horrified. She reached for a biscuit and bit into it quickly, trying to find something to do other than staring into Regina's gorgeous eyes after confessing.

Fuck, she was such an idiot. Why did she say that? She shouldn't have said that. Now Regina must be freaking out. This wasn't part of the deal, they didn't discuss feelings!

Regina suddenly forgot how to breathe properly. Did Joan just...? But she couldn't mean that, not for real. She didn't love Regina like that, surely. Maybe as a friend, but nothing more. Maybe she was just playing it up, as an act to further convince Lillian and Julian. It was a lie, it had to be.

"You two!" Lillian sighed dreamily. Julian grinned and nodded, backing her up.

"They are perfect for each other."

It was extremely difficult to focus on what Lillian was talking about after that. Regina kept glancing at Joan, hoping for a sign to confirm it was part of her act- or one to confirm it really was real, that maybe she wasn't wasting her own heart...

But Joan's face remained unreadable. She smiled and nodded along to whatever her family was saying, but most of the time, she just sat in silence, staring forward blankly. Regina's worries grew. Joan just dropped the biggest bomb on her possible, and now she wouldn't elaborate. Well, probably because she didn't want to do it in front of her mother, but Regina had a feeling she wouldn't find out the truth soon enough. Joan wasn't a woman of many words, and she seemed to have a hard time expressing her emotions. Which meant maybe Regina would never find out what these certain three words were about.

"Come again soon!" Lillian told them when they were parting, hugging the both of them as tight as possible. "And next time, bring Caleb with you!"

Julian gave Regina a quick hug. "I hope you two will be together for a long time." He said with a warm smile. Regina nodded, her own smile a bit wobbly.

"I hope so, too."

They got in the car, still waving goodbye. So many emotions swirled inside Regina. Lillian and Julian were so sweet, and they just lied to them. What did it say about her, that she managed to look them in the eye and be able to tell them she was Joan's girlfriend, when she really wasn't?

And Joan... God, Joan. What in the Hell just happened in there? Why did she tell Regina she loved her, when it wasn't true? Lying to her family was one thing, a not very nice thing for sure, but what was the point of saying this to Regina when it wasn't true?

Because it wasn't true, right?

She looked at Joan, trying to read her eyes. Joan didn't look back at her, she stubbornly stared at the road as they drove home. Her cheeks were a little pale, and she gripped the steering wheel with whitening knuckles.

Regina laid her head against the cool glass of the window, sighing. She didn't dare ask what this was about - she didn't wanna hear how it was just fake, like everything they did together was. She fidgeted with the necklace she got from Joan, chewing on her lip. If Joan told her she was just playing her part, she would burst that hopeful, pink bubble. And Regina wasn't sure she could handle that right now.

Instead, she remained quiet, letting her thoughts scream instead of her words.


	6. Sunshine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A nice day off with emotional turns.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This lovely warm weather is making me want to go out, it kinda sucks that I can't lmao anyways! Back with some will they won't they, because dancing on my readers' nerves is a specialty of mine. Feedback is greatly appreciated! :)

‘’I told her that I love her.”

Brianna all but choked on her vegan ice-cream, croaking and spluttering. Joan awkwardly patted her back until her friend reached the end of her coughing fit, eyes watery and cheeks red with exertion.

‘’You’re not serious.” Brianna wheezed. Joan wasn’t sure if it was a question or a statement- all the same, her own cheeks flushed, and she ducked her head like a puppy that just crapped the very expensive Persian carpet, and knew it was guilty.

‘’I am.” Her voice was quieter this time, and Joan was aware how out of character she was acting. She always managed to keep a clear head, no matter what barrier blocked her way: she made sane, calculated decisions, always listening to her mind over her heart. But since Regina showed up in her life, it felt like she did a complete turn: all rational thoughts flew out the window whenever those sky blue eyes settled on her. Joan was not the smart, powerful business lady around Regina. No, she was a silly teenage girl with a crush, blushing and stuttering and tripping over her own feet, because the object of her affection smiled at her. Her colleagues teased her enough already, seeing how her head was in the clouds nowadays. It’s that lovely girlfriend of yours, they kept saying, smiling cheekily. If you’re so head over heels for her, then maybe you should propose- you’re basically married already!

Truth be told, Joan was very much in love. That was a fact that she came to accept, even though she knew she was starting a dangerous game. But it seemed like, not even the head of Deacon Electronics could completely turn her heart off: the more Joan tried to ignore it, that annoying little bastard beat all the harder, yearning for the beautiful blonde who resided a floor above her. Regina, basking in the gifts Joan showered her in, soaking up the affection and the comfort like a particularly lovely sponge. With her fur coats (which completely freaked the dedicated vegan Brianna out, but Regina insisted they were fake- they weren’t, not all of them, but it was better not to tell. Brianna was the chef, after all, who knows what would have landed in Regina’s oatmeal if she found out), Swarovski earrings, Prada shoes and bags, but with the same cheeky attitude that was genuinely her, Regina stole her way into Joan’s heart. Joan sometimes wondered if her spoiling Regina rotten was still merely a part of their deal, or if she was only doing that now, because she loved seeing her face light up. It was probably the latter, if she wanted to be perfectly honest.

But she was supposed to bottle these feelings up, not spill them in front of her mother of all people. She didn’t just break her own rules, but also put Regina in a strange, uncomfortable position. How must she have felt like, deceiving Joan’s family, and then hearing those words? What could she be thinking of Joan now? Joan wasn’t sure if she wanted Regina to believe it was a lie, just a part of their act, or to realize it was in fact real. None of these options sounded particularly good.

‘’Damn.” Brianna whispered. She stared ahead, towards the playground where Regina and Freddie were playing on the slides with Caleb. Regina had Caleb on her lap, arms secure around the little boy’s torso. It was an idyllic picture, and even through the filters of shock, Brianna immediately noticed the longing look Joan gave them. Crap, she really was serious.

‘’Do you? Love her, I mean. For real.”

What was the point of lying anymore? It was probably written on her face, anyways. ‘’I do.” Joan admitted with a sigh. Her heart fluttered when Caleb gave Regina a kiss on the cheek, making the blonde beam in earnest. They made such a perfect little family, but it wasn’t even real- and now Joan was not so sure if she wanted to keep it that way.

‘’I didn’t mean to tell her. It just… slipped out. Because we were goofing around and bantering, and it just happened.”

‘’Have you talked to her about it since then?”

‘’No. Neither of us brought it up. I mean… I feel like a complete moron. What am I doing, for real? She’s my sugar baby. I’m buying her whatever disgustingly expensive stuff she wants, and she shows up as my arm candy. I’m just parading her around like an object, am I an asshole? Did I drag her into something very unhealthy?”

Brianna hummed softly. For a second, she was quiet, contemplating. ‘’Look,” she eventually started, going for the honest approach, ‘’it’s morally questionable, really. This whole sugar mummy- sugar baby business is. Because Joan, why would you pay a hooker…”

‘’… a former hooker.”

‘’Yes, a former hooker, to pretend to be your girlfriend, when she can be just that? Why don’t you just grow a pair and ask her out? Everyone can tell this is all you want. How about you two cut off this stupid deal and just get together? It would save so much trouble, and a whole lot of money.”

‘’I don’t think she feels that way.” Joan lamented. ‘’I’m just a walking ATM to her, and I guess I’m fine with it. I made the offer in the first place.”

‘’I’m pretty sure she wants more, too.” There was a sly grin playing on Brianna’s lips. Joan followed her gaze, spotting Regina standing next to the sway set, staring at Joan. It was impossible to see her eyes behind her heart-shaped, pink sunglasses, but the blush on her cheeks when she was caught was obvious. She turned away with a small smile, and Joan gripped onto the edge of the bench she was sitting on, to keep herself from just running over to her and squeeze her.

‘’It’s really time you did something about it- I’m still shocked that Miss ‘’unable to express my emotions like a proper human being because I’m so cold and calculated and serious and all business” Deacon ended up accidentally confessing, but it’s still better than this awkward pining.”

‘’Since when are you so sassy?” Joan chuckled, lightly shoving Brianna. Then, with a grin, she added: ‘’Seems like Freddie is rubbing off on you. That happens to people that are dating.”

Brianna spluttered, cheeks turning cherry red. ‘’I am… we… we are not dating!”

‘’Oh, piss off.” Joan rolled her eyes fondly. ‘’Regina could tell the second she set foot into my house, don’t you think that I, of all people, didn’t notice?”

Realizing there was no point in arguing, Brianna smiled. ‘’Okay, yes. We are. Happy now?”

‘’It’s only fair if we both, how did you put it, grow a pair and own up to our feelings.” Joan replied, eyes drifting back to the playground. The sunshine reflected off Regina’s hair, making it appear golden. She looked like an angel- a very sassy, sometimes outright rude one at that, but that was part of her charm. Joan’s lips curled into a smile against her best efforts as she watched her. She still didn’t know too many details about Regina’s past- she kept that under wraps tightly, even keeping her family name a secret still. She did tell Joan some crazy stories about her work, sharing them almost nonchalantly, but Joan could see that subtle hurt in her eyes. Joan was certain she didn’t hear the full truth- Regina preferred not to go into the gory details, but Joan still heard enough about her asshole pimp named Ivan, the other girls and boys she had to work with who were just as miserable, the crazy clients who refused to take no for an answer, to paint a picture in her mind. The drug deals that went down, the type of pills Regina sometimes used to get through the day. She told Joan she was clean now- she didn’t get addicted to them, luckily, but Joan’s heart still broke listening to the story of a young girl getting caught up in such nasty things. Regina opened up, more and more each day- maybe one day Joan would find out how exactly this happened, what lead to Regina running away from her home. Other than repeating that her parents were assholes, Joan didn’t find out any more details. She did learn that Regina had a younger brother, whom she missed- but when Joan asked her if she wanted to get in contact with him, she just said it would only lead to trouble, and refused. There were holes still, blurry spots that haven’t cleared, but Joan figured that maybe in the long run, it didn’t matter all that much. Regina was thriving right now- and as long as she was happy, and away from those people that hurt her, the past could go and fuck itself. 

Now, Joan just had to open her heart the same way- to a new, confusing feeling that scared, but thrilled her at the same time. She sighed deeply, still keeping her eyes on Regina. There was no way she could let her go, that she could find someone else. There was no one else, no one like Regina. Joan had to take her chances before it was too late, before Regina got fed up with her cowardice and left.

\--

Regina’s mind kept whirring at full speed since that visit to Joan’s family. Joan hasn’t mentioned anything about that probable slip of the tongue, and it drove Regina crazy. She kept thinking, day and night, trying to figure out what it could have meant- if it was real, at all. But it wasn’t, right? There was no way. Joan made it clear what their whole relationship was about, and Regina accepted her conditions. Mutually beneficial deal, this is what they kept repeating to each other, over and over again. 

But was it enough, still? Regina was not so sure. She promised herself she wouldn’t fall for her freaking sugar mummy, and yet, here she was, overthinking that stupid confession. Because her own treacherous heart wouldn’t settle. She fell for Joan, way too deep, and Regina wasn’t sure she could ever climb out of that rabbit hole she dug for herself. Getting this close to Joan, she risked her sanity, yet she couldn’t stop. She trusted Joan, in a way she hasn’t trusted anybody in a long time: she learnt that people were cruel, that they offered you a chance and then took it away and made you feel miserable. Joan was different; she kept her word, and continued taking care of Regina. It wasn’t just about the lovely gifts, though Regina appreciated them greatly: it was about offering her shelter, and a way out. It was about someone finally taking her hand and pulling her to her feet, instead of kicking her down. But Regina didn’t only just love Joan, because she helped her: her entire being was so fascinating, that Regina couldn’t help but be drawn to her. Even if she didn’t sleep in silk sheets every night, wore the most fashionable clothes and drank the best champagne, she would still love Joan with all her heart. There was no way she could let go, once Joan ended their deal, once she found someone right- not a fake, cheap hooker, but someone real who could be her right match. Regina will never be as polished, as intelligent and polite as Joan. She was just a rascal who ran away when she just barely reached the age of eighteen, no proper education, no family, no friends. Just a leaf floating by, passed around by the wind and somehow always ending up in the mud. Even if Joan somehow nurtured that leaf back to life, deep down, she would always be that nameless nobody. Joan deserved better- of course she didn’t love her, for real.

That still didn’t stop her heart from doing crazy flips when Joan approached her, passing a bunch of screaming and giggling children on her way. She smiled at Regina, almost shyly, and Regina’s heart melted. 

‘’Are you guys having fun?” Joan asked her once she reached them. Her cheeks were an adorable pinkish color- Regina wanted to kiss them. Freddie, who took a breather from all the playing stood and nodded, brushing some dirt of her sundress.

‘’Caleb is a menace, as always.” Freddie said, but her voice was full of affection. ‘’And this one,” she pointed at Regina, ‘’is brooding.”

Regina scoffed at her, but Freddie just shrugged with an innocent smile. She kept pestering Regina all day, to find out why she was moping so badly, and eventually, Regina broke and told her the truth. Freddie, of course, reassured her that her fears were silly, that she was perfect the way she was and that her past didn’t define her, all the hubbub that a good friend should say to calm her down. She told Regina that she’s certain Joan loves her back, but Regina didn’t believe her. Freddie was too kind for her own good, she was just trying to be nice. There was no truth to what she was saying.

Joan arched an eyebrow at her curiously. ‘’How so?”

‘’It’s all fine, Freddie is just being an idiot.” Regina sent the nanny a sharp look. Freddie just continued smiling, now with a slightly cheeky edge.

‘’Sure.” She said softly. She passed Caleb on to Joan, patting her back. ‘’I think I’m gonna join Bri at the benches, you two just chat away.”

She danced away before Regina could cuss her out. Joan let out a somewhat awkward chuckle, hugging her son close. When their eyes met, she smiled, a little warmer.

‘’You seemed to be enjoying yourself.” Joan said, shifting on her feet a bit. ‘’You didn’t even need to come.”

‘’I wanted to.” Regina replied softly. She couldn’t resist reaching out and stroking Caleb’s hair, who was falling asleep after all the playing in Joan’s arms. It was a strange instinct, to care for the little boy- Regina’s heart constricted painfully at the sudden resurgence of memories, but she quickly waved them away. ‘’It’s so rare that we can all be together like this, like a…”

‘’A family.” Joan whispered. Regina barely caught the word, but it still caused her skin to prickle in delight. A family. She lost that, a long time ago. She was lonely, betrayed, abandoned- but this, right here, truly felt like a family. Her and Joan, like a sweet couple with their son, Caleb- and the two aunts who were now finally making out in broad daylight, putting an end to their ridiculous hide and seek. Regina shook her head at them, grinning.

A family. It was a loaded word, and Regina still wasn’t sure what to make of it. Was she even allowed to think of them as such, when it was all just an act? But it was Joan, who pointed it out, and her eyes shone so brightly as she did, that Regina almost believed she was being genuine.

‘’It feels nice.” Regina admitted quietly. She kicked a tiny rock, chewing on her lip. ‘’Just like… being together, like this. I kinda dig it.”

Joan chuckled softly. ‘’So do I. These are the days when I wish my job was a bit easier. I’d like more days like this one, when I can just spend time with all of you.”

‘’Even me?” Regina asked quietly. It was a risky question, in more than one way. Joan swallowed, resting her cheek on the top of Caleb’s head who started snoring softly.

‘’Yes. And not ‘even’, Regina. I like spending time with you. I really do. Over these months, I… I really started appreciating your company. Not just as a sugar baby, but more.”

‘’More?” Regina’s heart thudded inside her chest, hard. Filled with hope, she blinked up at Joan. Joan cleared her throat, licking her chapped lips. Whatever she was trying to say, it caused her great turmoil, clearly.

‘’As a friend,” Joan clarified. Regina tried to make sure the way her face fell wasn’t too obvious. God, why was she such an idiot? She accepted Joan wanted nothing more, she moved over. Why did that small hope still flicker up then?

‘’I see.” Regina replied, her throat strangely tight. ‘’I… I also consider you a friend. I like being with you, but I guess it makes sense, considering you’re totally spoiling me.” The humor didn’t really come through this time. Joan wasn’t smiling, either. She stared down at her feet, taking a deep breath.

‘’But only because of that. Because I’m your sugar mummy, and because you feel obligated to like me after I helped you.”

‘’What? I… no.” Regina stammered, her stomach dropping when she saw the flash of hurt in Joan’s eyes. She never wanted to make her feel that way, as if she was only taken for granted. She needed to know Regina’s appreciation for her went beyond the artificial pleasures of money.

‘’It was just a joke, Joan.” Regina was quick to clarify. ‘’I really do like you.”

Hope glimmered in the green depths of Joan’s eyes. She revealed that adorable gap in her teeth as she smiled, and a dreamy sigh flew off Regina’s lips before she could stop herself.

‘’That’s good to know.” She replied in a mellow, warm voice. Taking a deep breath, she looked up at Regina again- there was something else on her face now, something akin to determination.

‘’Regina, about what I said… when we were at my mother’s… I just wanted to tell you that it was completely…”

She didn’t get to finish her sentence, because Caleb stirred in her arms, eyes opening halfway.

‘’Mummy,” he muttered, stretching out. Joan tore her eyes away from Regina’s face, kissing her son’s head.

‘’I’m here, sweetheart.” She shushed him gently. To her biggest surprise, Caleb shook his head. He was half-asleep, dazed- but the way he grabbed for Regina was unmistakable.

‘’Mummy,” he repeated with a tiny smile, and Joan’s heart swell. It was a wonder it didn’t burst out of her chest. She looked up at Regina with a smile, but it dimmed right away when she saw tears in Regina’s eyes.

‘’Are you okay?” She asked, reaching for her hand. Regina shook her head, sucking in a harsh breath. Her cheeks were paler, losing their rosy color. An uncomfortable feeling settled into the pit of Joan’s stomach- something wasn’t right.

‘’I wanna go home.” Regina stated, already marching past a bewildered Joan who could only stare after her in utter confusion.

Only then did she realize that she didn’t even manage to finish her confession.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These bitches are still pining, and Regina deserves a big hug.


	7. Iron Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone from Regina's past shows up, which causes Joan to play her cards right, at last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of a cheesy chapter, but I really needed to write something like this. Also, I really wonder if anyone's catching up to those certain blurry spots in Regina's past, and what they might mean...

Freddie was chatting away a mile a second, as usual, and Regina tried her best to pretend she was listening - but her mind was elsewhere. Not even the beautiful clothes they were currently browsing could make her feel any better.

If the dilemma of whether Joan's confession was genuine or not wouldn't have been enough, now it was completed with the haunting scene at the playground.

Regina couldn't forget it, no matter how hard she tried. Sure, children did and said all sort of strange things, and Caleb was practically still asleep when he accidentally called Regina 'mummy', but that didn't make the resurfacing memories any less painful. Regina was usually really good at playing nonchalant, pretending that she was completely fine while she was actually in pieces - that's how she survived on the streets, after all-, but this time, the pain was too great to ignore.

She lost her family- those she thought she could rely on, and a part of it that was just barely starting. She ran away, because her parents took something away from her, something that was hers only- but of course she wasn't allowed to keep that. Her parents always made sure she knew just how much they disapproved of her choices, made her feel like a disappointment. Regina's home life was nothing but constant pain and shame. Her parents never accepted her the way she was, and refused to help her when she got in trouble. ‘'It's your own fault", they said when Regina turned to them, pleading for some kind of assistance. Just a little bit of support, the bare minimum someone should except from her own family. She was wrong. They shamed and blamed her for everything, and then robbed her of the only thing that made her feel a tiny morsel of happiness.

When Caleb uttered that word, it triggered all those repressed, awful memories. This, combined with the uncertainty Regina felt over what Joan told her, weighed her down like a heavy anchor for the past few days.

"Dear, look at that blouse!" Freddie chirped, doing her best to cheer Regina up. She pointed at a leopard printed top, grinning. "It's so your style! And you could feel closer to Dolly."

That earned a chuckle from Regina, at least. "You mean looking like a Bengal cat?"

"Totally." Freddie's smile softened, and she lay a hand on Regina's arm. "Are you sure you're okay, lovie? You're so pale."

"I'm fine, Freddie." To Freddie's suspicious look, Regina sighed. "It's a long story."

"It's about Joan, then." Freddie smirked. Regina blushed, and she bit down on her lip. She was never the blushy type, but nowadays, the mention of Joan's name caused a Pavlovian reflex that made her cheeks heat up immediately.

"In a way." Regina admitted. It was impossible to keep a secret from Freddie: from what the nanny told her, with a cheeky grin, it appeared that her attraction to Joan was obvious from the start, which left no place to lie.

"Well, I already told you my opinion." Freddie said, with an elegant, but dismissive hand gesture. "You two are in love, and you're both idiots that would rather keep playing this stupid sugar mummy- sugar baby game instead of acting on it. But whatever floats your boat." She pulled the blouse off the rack, all but shoving it into Regina's hands. "And if you're gonna start with this whole 'oh but Joan doesn't love me back, I'm just her arm candy, it's strictly business’, then, my Dear, I have lost all hope about your sanity."

Stunned by Freddie's sudden act of tough love, Regina decided not to reply. She grabbed the shirt and occupied a changing room instead, more interested in finally being alone than the actual clothing.

Whatever Freddie was saying, there was simply no way Joan truly felt like that about her. Maybe she found her attractive, on a surface level- Regina was perfectly aware of her own beauty. But it simply couldn't go beyond that. Her personality was awful, her past was even more so- even if they never had their deal in the first place, Joan still wouldn't be interested in someone like that. On the playground, she was clearly trying to tell her that the l word was simply a slip of the tongue, no need to read more into that. Joan wasn't about to confess her eternal love for her, no matter how much Regina wished it was the case.

She tugged on the blouse with a sigh, checking herself out in the mirror. She looked good, and nowadays, the price didn't matter- it was Joan who paid for everything, after all. Somehow, Regina felt a bitter taste in her mouth at the thought. She basked so well in the luxury- but the deeper she fell for Joan, the least she wanted to suck her out of her money.

She put the blouse back into its place, ignoring Freddie's tutting.

\--

They waited outside the plaza for a cab. Regina wondered if one day Joan would teach her how to drive - she's wanted to try out one of her cars since she first spotted them in the garage. It would be so amazing, the wind ruffling her hair, the beautiful beast beneath her tearing up the asphalt, the engines whirring, and Joan telling her she's doing so good, squeezing her thigh gently to encourage her...

Realizing she got carried away with her fantasy again, Regina shook her head. Better ignore these lovely images of impossible things.

Still, not having to haul a cab to get home, when you're supposed to be the spoiled sugar baby of a millionaire, would have made sense. But Freddie couldn't drive either, so she had to make do.

A heavy hand landed on her shoulder, causing her to flinch. Her entire body went rigid, putting up her defenses. Working on the streets made her more alert to being approached like that- you could never know when someone was just being friendly, and when you were about to be killed. You were never allowed to let your guard down if you wanted to stay alive. These instincts kicked in right away, and Regina whipped around, raising a fist over her face to protect herself.

Even that method couldn’t prepare her for the experience of staring into the face of her former pimp, Ivan, grinning down at her wolfishly. 

He hasn’t searched for Regina until now, or at least Regina didn’t notice. She was floating in her safety bubble, secluded in Joan’s mansion and swimming in luxury- she almost managed to forget about the reality behind it, that she wasn’t completely free of her past, not until Ivan was still roaming the streets. Now, the living reminder was staring her in the face, appearing very amused.

‘’Well, well.” He murmured, raking his eyes over Regina’s body- eating her up the same way he always did, regarding her only as a piece of meat to sell. Regina crossed her arms over her chest, the need to hide her body from the watchful eyes rising inside her. Just with one look, Ivan set her right back, into the life she thought and hoped she left behind.  
‘’So, that’s where you’ve been hiding all these times. Someone’s taking good care of you, I see.”

‘’None of your business.” Regina said, sticking her chin up. Ivan had no control over her anymore. She wasn’t a prostitute, she wasn’t working for him now. She was a free woman, and Ivan was only a lowlife pimp, not high enough on the food chain to cause any trouble. She needed to remember that, and move on. 

Ivan didn’t make that liberation too easy, though.

‘’Isn’t it?” He spat, eyes narrowing into slits. ‘’As far as I remember, you’re my girl.”

‘’Excuse me, but what is going on here?” Freddie perked up, eyes full of concern. She appeared to be trying to wedge herself between Ivan and Regina, which would have made no good, considering Freddie wasn’t any bigger than Regina.

‘’Stay out of it, Busty.” Ivan growled at her, before turning back to Regina. ‘’Did you find yourself another pimp, huh? Is that it? Someone’s giving you a bigger cut?”

‘’I’m not a hooker anymore,” Regina replied defiantly, masking the tremble in her voice with all her might. She couldn’t give Ivan the satisfaction of showing her fear. ‘’I’m not your girl. Leave me alone.”

Ivan suddenly grabbed her arm, yanking her closer to him. Steeling herself, Regina put her foot down and pulled back. Ivan’s eyes flashed dangerously.

‘’Don’t you fucking dare pull away from me!” He yelled, causing a few passersby to stop and stare at the scene unfolding. ‘’I gave you everything, Regina! After you ran away from home, after you failed at every job because you’re stupid, and miserable, I took you in and gave you a chance! How can you run away from me, of all people, who always just tried to help!?”

‘’Great fucking help it was,” Regina hissed, blinking against the tears in her eyes. They weren’t scared tears- they were the tears of anger, the injustice she had to face her whole life. Not anymore. Whether Joan would keep her company any longer or not, she would never go back to the person she was. She saw a glimpse of what a real family, what real friends looked like- and even if she will lose that, too, she would always have those images in her head. She could store them away, forever, and next time someone would try to drag her into a life-ruining experience, she will have the galls to say no.

‘’You took advantage of me,” Regina continued, taking another step back. She stared Ivan in the eyes, hands balled into fists against her sides. ‘’You saw how miserable I was, and you used it for your own gain. You dragged me into a fucking nightmare, but I’m over it now. I’ve been taken good care of in the past months, better care you could ever give me. You need to leave me the fuck alone, because I’m done with that life.”

‘’The mouth on you.” Ivan growled, raising his hand to hit her. Freddie screamed, and Regina braced herself to fight back- but she didn’t need to, because someone grabbed Ivan’s hand, halting him mid-motion.

Regina’s heart nearly burst out of her chest when she realized it was Joan, holding Ivan down with her eyes ablaze.

‘’Touch her,” Joan growled, ‘’and I’ll break your hands.”

Regina’s jaw dropped. Joan was anything, but the violent type. She had never seen her so much as raise her voice at anyone- the most aggressive she saw her was when she fired her techie who molested Regina. Other than that, she was as calm as one could get- but now, she was like thunder on two legs, all but snarling at Ivan.

‘’Who the fuck are you?” Ivan spat, yanking his arm out of Joan’s grip. Joan straightened her back, standing as tall as she could.

‘’Someone who loves Regina very much, more than anything else in this world, and I won’t let you hurt her.”

Regina’s head buzzed like a swarm of bees. Her knees buckled beneath her, and Freddie grabbed her elbow to keep her steady. Regina wasn’t sure if this was real, or just an elaborate daydream- it sounded too good to be true. This was the second instance of Joan saying that she loved her; it couldn’t have been an accident, not anymore, not from the mouth of a woman who just shielded her from a criminal. ‘’More than anything else in this world”- such sweet words, and Regina found her heart fluttering inside her chest.

Ivan opened his mouth to say something, but Joan cut him off right away.

‘’Don’t try anything, I know exactly, who you are. If you come after Regina again, I will report you to the cops. For exploitation and forced prostitution, among other things. There are also plenty of witnesses standing around here, so I wouldn’t count on your high chances.”

Ivan looked around, like a deer caught in the headlights, to see people standing around, staring at them and whispering. They were drawn closer by the commotion, perfectly overhearing Regina’s outburst, as well as the vile way Ivan spoke to her.

Ivan growled and spat at their feet, before he scurried away. Joan turned back to Regina, her shoulders sagging as some of the tension of the confrontation seeped out of her.

‘’Are you guys okay?”

Regina couldn’t reply. She just stared at Joan, at this beautiful, smart, kind person, who, despite how they met, refused to see Regina as a lowlife hooker. She may have not had completely selfless intentions in the beginning, but she always treated Regina as someone deserving of that care. And right now, Regina couldn’t even care about what this meant for them: she felt like she had a revelation, something finally clicking into place after long months of denial.

Her body moved on autopilot, as she all but flew into Joan’s arms, wrapping her arms around her neck and pressing her lips against hers. Joan squeaked softly against her mouth, before she went slack, like a huge weight had been lifted off her body. Her own arms snaked around Regina’s waist, holding her closer until it was almost uncomfortable, but neither of them could care. They have been avoiding the truth for months, awkwardly dancing around each other and denying their real feelings, but after this, they couldn’t, not anymore. This clearly wasn’t just a slip of the tongue, anymore: as strange as this whole relationship was, it was real. It always had been.

Regina showered Joan’s lips and cheeks in kisses, uncaring of the people still standing around. Let them stare- Regina wouldn’t hold herself back anymore. Joan wasn’t planning on that, either, as she kissed Regina back with the same fervor, licking into her mouth as if they weren’t even standing in the middle of the street.

‘’Alright, darlings,” Freddie chirped in softly, breaking the spell, ‘’how about we take this home, hm?”

They finally pulled away, their eyes still deeply boring into each other’s. Joan brushed Regina’s hair out of her face so gently, it ripped a sigh out of the blonde.

‘’I love you too,” She whispered. Joan smiled, leaning to peck her on the lips again, more fleetingly, this time.

‘’I’m still gonna call the cops on Ivan.” She promised. Regina nodded, beaming. She gave Joan’s hand a squeeze, feeling lighter than a feather- something she has never felt before she met Joan.

\--

‘’I cannot believe you showed up just in time,” Regina said, her head resting on Joan’s chest as they lay together on the bed. They finally allowed themselves that intimacy they feared for so long: they held each other, barely letting go. After denying themselves for so long, there was no way they would ever let go again.

‘’I wanted to surprise you, by picking you up.” Joan explained, playing with Regina’s golden locks. ‘’I know how much you hate cabs. And I walked right into the middle of that confrontation.”

‘’You’ll have to give me one of your cars someday.” Regina replied cheekily. Joan chuckled, pressing a little kiss onto the top of her head. 

‘’Alright. If that’s what you want.”

‘’Like a sugar baby?” Regina asked quietly, biting her lip. Joan shook her head, running her hand through her hair, massaging Regina’s scalp.

‘’No, not anymore. At least, I think there’s no need for that now.” She hooked a finger under Regina’s chin, gently tilting her face upwards so they could look into each other’s eyes. ‘’I really fell in love with you, Regina. I want… I want to be in a relationship with you. Not just business anymore. I was such an idiot for denying my feelings for you, but the thing is, I want more. What I said, at my mother’s… that was true.”

Regina gave her a mellow smile, her cheeks turning delightfully pink. ‘’I want more, too.” She admitted softly. ‘’I thought you would never love me back, and I hated the idea of you sending me away and finding someone else. You know, someone you don’t have to keep lying about.”

‘’No one could replace you.” Joan blushed at the sappiness of her own words- she was never the gushing type, but it seemed like meeting Regina was a nice refreshment to her personality, in more than one way. ‘’You know, Brianna and Freddie were right. We could have just gone out with each other in the first place. But then again, I guess you needed time to trust me.”

‘’I did.” Regina admitted. She turned to breathe a kiss onto Joan’s collarbone. ‘’But I figured, very early on, that you’re a good person. Besides, I’m pretty sure you needed time to learn how to trust me, too. I may have had some disadvantage, considering where I come from, but I’m sure it wasn’t an easy ride for you either.”

‘’We kind of made things complicated for ourselves.” Joan chuckled. ‘’I never really had a normal relationship, so I’m not that good at reading social clues or anything. Thought I could just buy myself love.”

‘’You’re getting it free from me, babe.” Regina winked. Joan blushed at the nickname, holding Regina tighter. 

‘’So, we’re doing it now? Are we like… official?” Joan asked. Regina’s smile widened, as she burrowed deeper into Joan’s arms.

‘’I love how your sophisticated, super smart self just can’t speak coherently when you’re with me.” Regina teased. She received a light pat on the hip, which made her giggle. ‘’I would love that, Joan. I mean, I’ve wanted that for so long.”

‘’Me too.” Joan agreed softly. ‘’All those things we played for appearances- I want them to be true. I want you to be my actual girlfriend, I want to hold you like you’re really mine. And I’ve seen how you’re with Caleb…”

Regina bit down on her lip and went pale, like she did at the playground. Joan wondered what this was about- another blurry spot in Regina’s past, but she hoped one day she would find out what that’s really about. Right now, after the shock of meeting her pimp again today, Joan didn’t want to put her under any more stress.

‘’So, yeah. I want to do this, officially.”

‘’But I don’t have to give back my sugar baby gifts, right?” Regina pouted. Joan laughed, kissing the tip of her nose playfully.

‘’Of course not. You’re still getting anything you want. I’m still gonna spoil you rotten as my girlfriend.”

‘’That sounds better than draining your bank account in exchange of some public appearances.”

‘’You gave me more than that.” Joan told her gently. She kissed Regina again, deeply and languidly, humming softly when Regina’s tongue slid against hers. She let out a soft gasp when Regina’s hands slid under her shirt, creeping towards her breasts.

‘’Reg…” She said softly, stopping her hands. As much as she wanted it, she was worried Regina was just paying her back for her kindness. It only now occurred to her that Regina kissed her right after she basically saved her from her former pimp- would she have kissed her, if that confession wasn’t spurred on by the tension of the moment?

The pink little bubble burst right away, her insecurities raising their ugly little heads again. She hated the idea of Regina only going along with this, because she didn’t want to fall out of her good graces. What if the only reason she said yes to them being an actual couple, because she was worried otherwise Joan would send her away? What if the kiss, the intimate touches, were all just a way to secure her place?

Regina probably sensed her hesitation, because she cupped her cheek, giving her a soft smile.

‘’I want it,” she whispered, her voice warm and genuine. ‘’I want you. Because I love you.”

‘’It’s not about returning some kind of favor, then?” Joan checked. ‘’Because if you don’t want it, not for real, then…”

‘’But I do.” Regina reassured her, running her thumbs across Joan’s cheekbones. ‘’Not because you stepped in with Ivan, not even because you plucked me off the streets in the first place. I am grateful, obviously, but I’m not in love with you because of that. I’m in love with you, because you’re an amazing person.”

She kissed Joan gently, sighing happily when Joan buried her fingers in her hair again. She climbed onto Joan’s lap, straddling her. She shivered in bliss when Joan kissed over her neck, sucking a mark into the pale skin. Regina rolled her hips down, grinding their crotches together and causing the both of them to gasp in delight. They soon got lost in the pleasure of each other, finally succumbing to the pull they resisted for months as mouths and hands discovered the other’s body, lovingly mapping out every nook and cranny.

As they lay afterwards, fingers laced together, bodies pleasantly sore and spent, they were both smiling. Heaven knows they kept this charade up for way too long- it was really time for them to fall into one another, at last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, do tell me what you thought, I live for your feedback!

**Author's Note:**

> You can also find me on Tumblr @bambirexwrites! :)


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